'Nightmare On Elm Street' 3D Sequel Greenlit; Samuel Bayer Is A 12 Year Old Girl

After every big opening weekend comes the Monday sequel announcement, no matter how premature, and Platinum Dunes and Warner Bros. have not let us down. With “A Nightmare On Elm Street” taking in $32.2 million in its opening frame, they’ve already begun working on a sequel. And by “working on” they mean they’ve already committed to 3D and begun looking at release dates.

“We don’t have a story yet,” says Warner distribution head Dan Fellman, overstating the obvious, “but this is the largest horror opening in the April-May corridor, and it just proves there’s a lot left in the franchise.” Well, since we’re discussing “corridors,” why don’t we discuss the one that “Friday the 13th” opened in last year? The “Friday” update took in $40 million in its opening frame, prompting an immediate, you guessed it, “greenlight” to a 3D sequel. That sequel was scheduled for an August release this year, but eventually word got out that there was no development and the project was dead. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that after that big opening weekend, “Friday” melted against no real competition, finishing at a $65 million domestic number.

“Elm Street,” which did even less business with a bigger budget (the first link in the story claims $27 million, though we’ve heard the reshoots boosted that number considerably), isn’t enduring the same second weekend, as it’s facing off against “Iron Man 2,” poised to be one of the biggest blockbuster openings in history. “Friday” managed only $15 million more after that opening, and it was generally better regarded than the recent “Nightmare” redo, which received a C+ Cinemascore rating and saw an immediate audience drop-off after a big Friday night. If it didn’t make sense to return to Camp Crystal Lake in 3D, why would it make sense to make a return trip to Elm Street?

Director Samuel Bayer, who reportedly refused studio overtures to convert “Nightmare” into 3D, will not be returning, as he has his eyes set on an adaptation of the comic book “The Boys.” Not being blind, deaf and dumb, he’s heard the response to the film, which has been overwhelmingly negative, even for the latest piece of shit from Platinum Dunes. His response was appropriately mature. From Fangoria…

“Look, I’m gonna catch a lot of heat for this, but some of these fans on the web should just get up, stretch, breathe, go outside and get some fresh air, maybe get a girlfriend and just get a life. They should see the movie and make up their own minds.”

Wait, so they should go to the theaters or go outside? Preaching the importance of outdoor exercise is a really great thing to do. Calling the bulk of internet fans who said (deservedly) mean things about your movie singles and shut-ins doesn’t really endear yourself to those who’ve already painted a target on your back. Bayer, who no doubt has tried to score with all sorts of girls with the line “I directed the ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ video,” seems like he’ll go far in Hollywood, having shit-talked fans that would have otherwise given his film a chance, while also putting himself above it all by refusing to return for a “Nightmare” sequel. What is it about the number one movie in America that turns bad directors into sassy assholes? Perhaps it will be “A Nightmare On Elm Street”‘s $4 million second weekend that makes Samuel Bayer into a more gracious person. Or maybe he’ll become more of a child. Money’s on the latter.