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This is the first comedy package tour that I've ever been to, and the first one that didn't have Dane Cook performing. I didn't really know what to expect line up and set up time wise, as I'm used to watching a band play then wait a half hour before another band goes on. I liked the non stop performances that left no down time for boredom.
Patton Oswalt came out first and did a few minute bit before telling the audience that he would be the host of the night (introducing the other comedians). He said that all the comics were hung over from the night before in New York and asked the very quiet and polite crowd if they were too due to their non rowdy nature (which he seemed to enjoy). He also wondered aloud why Hollywood isn't making many movies with retards in them (his idea for an action flick was "Die Tard") and told a story about a physics class for poets that ended up in a Star Trek joke.
Morgan Murphy sounded very strung out, almost like she could drop at any moment, but her delayed vocal tone helped the delivery of her jokes. She talked about her carless boyfriend who won't be able to stalk her when they break up, the term "babies having babies" (which should lead to really cute babies), Myspace, running over a dog (which led to an old lady joke), having 12 Halloweens a year instead of one. Her best line was her closer: a pick up line where she'd ask a guy if he could give her a five finger discount.
Billy Smith is a Native American comedian who came out dressed like a cowboy pilgrim and told very horrible and unfunny jokes for about five minutes. It was torturous, but he wasn't on stage very long.
Eugene Merman talked about Myspace, reading a request a band sent him and his response (greatest line: "Worst thing I've done is shit on a cat while he was sleeping"). He also played a phone survey about the war that was absolutely hysterical and should have been his closer, showed a video tlak show that takes place in the future (and wasn't that funny), made a joke about Water Fire (there was one going on that night). He ended by playing a game called Share or Dare (kind of like Truth or Dare but without the dirtiness) with a guy from the crowd, which asked all these weird questions that had nothing to do with anything.
Brian Posehn (the main reason I went and dropped $20) opened his set with some blow job jokes. One talked about how a guy isn't gay if he yells "Slayer" while another guys blows him and another told guys to tell the girl that they're gonna make a mouth baby. He also talked about becoming more mature and owning a house, a prostate exam and his giant butthole, phone solicitors, life as a bacholor, his chance meeting with a junkie and a tranny that recognized him (he learned to not call a tranny "bro"), meeting Kate Beckinsale and how he would high five her if he ever got to do a sex scene with her. He also told a few bits from his album, Live in Nerd Rage: him yelling at fast cars in his neighborhood, and the bits about his dogs (they look like him, comparing them to living with a homeless guy, and the time a dog licked his wife's cooch while she was dropping a duece). He ended by telling a story about a guy who got his balls ripped off by a chimp (who, after a certain age, "become stronger that a re re after someone takes their sticker book"), and how that guy HAS to tell that story for the rest of his life because of the situation.
Patten Oswalt went into detail about how an old telling his son the story of the son being conceived (complete with a visual of a cornish game hen being pushed through grey drapes), which ends with the kid's dick screaming. He also broke down how only 20 birthdays should be celebrated (1-10, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21 and then every new decade after that until 90 when they can break some laws and get away with it). He also got into a pretty boring conversation with a girl in the crowd studying library science, talked about American Values and how he got booed off the stage for dissing Bush in 2003 but watched a film of a guy getting a blow job the day the day after at an Andy Warhol Museum. He also went into detail about his crappy town, saying how he lived ten minutes from DC in the 80s while bands like Bad Brains and Fugazi were taking over, but missing the whole scene because his local television culture guy sucked. He told a story about a one night stand and having to get a morning after pill the day after (the girl said he came in her brains), felt a bit of regret which was quickly forgotten once he saw the way kids behaved at the Costco. He talked about his job as a screen writer and spent more than a few minutes talking about a movie called "Death Bed-The Bed that Eats People," and how it got made despite being such a horrible idea (he came up with a similar idea called "Rape Stove"). He ended by telling the crowd that there are no Red and Blue states, using a trip to Vegas for an example (saying that one of the most popular shows is something involving gay people).
The night was a pretty good time overall. I did a good amount of laughing. My one complaint (besides Billy Smith being an unfunny toolbox) was that Brian Posehn was only on stage for about 20 minutes.
Written by: RF