You must love the Internet for its calm and orderly, line-up in single-file approach to even the most scant traces of rumor, innuendo and whispered speculation.
So, as we’ve noted Spike Jonze’s “Where The Wild Things” film troubles escalated from pushed back release dates, to Warner Bros. was ‘slightly unhappy’ with the film, to ‘possible reshoots’, to ‘complete reshoots!!’, to “Spike Jonze getting kicked off project!,” to Nazi bullion discovered at Warner Bros. /WMD’s found at studio with plans to detonate freedom if Jonze does not complete film!!, in a matter of minutes (the film apparently finished principle photography three years ago according to Cinematical, sounds dubious, but we really haven’t fact-checked it either).
Even, homeland security is worried. If Spike Jonze doesn’t complete ‘Wild Things’ in his-magical way the terrorists will have won!
So naturally, some super nerd has penned one of the sorriest (and perhaps scariest) letters ever to nerd-magnate Harry Knowles over at Ain’t It Cool News in utter desperation, insisting he’s seen “Wild Things’ (with spoilers mind you), and pleading that Warner Bros. shouldn’t move one hair of the film’s exquisitely coiffed head.
Basically the hysterical “Save Spike Jonze!” campaign has officially begun. The Nerd-a-tron, who’s name is “Cinemaniac1979” writes with nary a trace of irony:
“This movie is Fred Savage’s grandfather saying “As you wish” at the end of ‘The Princess Bride.’ This movie is the look Susan gives to 12-year-old Josh as he walks away at the end of ‘Big.’ This movie is ‘River Phoenix’ fading away at the end of ‘Stand by Me.’ This movie is important and special. Spike made this movie for us [ed. losers everywhere?] We have to save it.”
This letter is the part where we throw up all over ourselves.