New Official 'Inception' Synopsis Reveals Everything, Nothing...

A new full-bodied synopsis for Christopher Nolan’s “Inception” has been released and it’ll go one of two ways.

1) You’ve been reading closely all along and if you’re like us, it almost provides zero new details (other than explaining what an “inception” is).

2) You’ve been cautiously trying to avoid spoilers all year long and you’re shocked to hear this movie is about dream thieves. Here it is. Spoilers below if you want, but hey, it is an official synopsis.

Acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolan directs an international cast in an original sci-fi actioner that travels around the globe and into the intimate and infinite world of dreams. Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb’s rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but, it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved. Now Cobb is being offered a chance at redemption. One last job could give him his life back but only if he can accomplish the impossible—inception. Instead of the perfect heist, Cobb and his team of specialists have to pull off the reverse: their task is not to steal an idea but to plant one. If they succeed, it could be the perfect crime. But, no amount of careful planning or expertise can prepare the team for the dangerous enemy that seems to predict their every move. An enemy that only Cobb could have seen coming. This summer, your mind is the scene of the crime.

Another detail we read in the newest edition of Empire which is not online? Ellen Page’s character is essentially eyes of the audience in the picture. She’s DiCaprio’s assistant in the film and essentially learns along the way, just as the audience does about the whole breaking-and-entering-the-scene-of-a-mind-crime business. Also, it’s evidently unclear to some people that Ken Watanabe is the villain of the film, but look, we’re almost positive he is.

Is it going to be the smash sensation of the summer? Nope. You know why? Because, it’s not a traditional tentpole in that it doesn’t have existing, identifiable characters that readers know from comics, toys, previous movies, reboots, etc. That said, it will surely do well, but you know the suits at WB would probably rather have Nolan shoot, “Batman 3” instead. It will open big but we’ll probably eat our shoe if the picture opens up to more than $75 million opening weekend. That’s not hate, it’s just a guess. Sadly, this picture looks too smart for the summer crowd, but we hope we’re wrong.

The film also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, Michael Caine, and Lukas Haas. “Inception” hits theaters this summer on July 16.