Saturday, November 30, 2024

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No Matter Who Wins We Lose: Uwe Boll Challenges Michael Bay To Fight To The Death…Or Something Like That

Oh brother, Uwe Boll’s at it again. His fifteen minutes of fame on this particular beef should be over, but the video game director hack is relentlessly milking this one for every second he’s got left.

The backstory is basically Boll wants to beat the shit out of every director who is more successfully and more critically regarded than he is which basically means everyone.

Michael Bay has dismissed Boll outright and the German director is evidently very “upset.” The original video of the challenge is on below.

“Hi, here’s Uwe Boll and you see my outfit so you know what’s coming up now basically. Michael Bay responded to my note about him in a very insulting way for me. He said that he doesn’t care about me and this was very insulting because I care about him and I think that with the money he has for his movies, he sucks big time. I think it’s time to meet in the ring actually.

So it’s my message to Michael Bay, Michael, in between your pool parties in LA or your casting sessions with the strippers you should start training now. And I’m sure you look good, you look thin. I saw you at the Hollywood Film Festival, I think you’re a fit guy and you do like private karate Asia bullshit crap fighting stuff in LA where you think you’re super cool that you do that with your 500 bucks per hour trainer.

So let’s meet in the ring in September or October. Pay-per-view. Mandalay Bay. Las Vegas. Twelve rounds of boxing. Boll against Bay.

It’s also independent against the studio system and I think that this day in Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas we will clear it up who is not only the better director who is also able to fight more for that what he wants.

OK Michael, if you see that message I expect that your people contacting me, it will be all arranged. We even make money with it, and so let’s go for it. Boll against Bay. It’s on.”

What once was amusing is now just becoming pathetic.
Wait, sort of. Boll’s uber-sincere responses to his critics still yield tons of laughs.

Boll Responds To The Haterz
Highlight: “Don’t write me with some bullshit internet nickname, write me with your name and address so I can track you down and rip you apart, thank you.”

Boll Says Your Online Signatures Are Bullshit Frauds
Highlight: “The second thing, I know that Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay are posting under various different identities that I should stop making movies and I know why: they’re afraid of the competition.”

Man, if this guy is remotely joking he has the driest and most sincere deliver ever.

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