To describe Romanian teen comedy”Oh, Ramona!” as the most politically incorrect movie since “The Birth Of A Nation,” is a ridiculous hyperbolic statement, yes, but it’s that kind of horrified, over-the-top, and yet sincere reaction you may find yourself feeling at this terminally unfunny and painfully misjudged film. Netflix (did they read the script? Or is it just more content?) has outdone themselves with this one. They’ve managed to back a movie that pokes fun at a rape scene, body shames a woman and makes Europe look utterly uninhabitable. Some movies aim for lofty vulgarities; this one aims low and hits all the marks.
Cristina Jacob‘s juvenile raunchy comedy is beyond disappointment. Based on the boring novel “Suck it,” her film follows a wallflower looking to blossom. Andrei (Bogdan Iancu) is your typical galumphing nerd. He wears glasses, stumbles about clumsily, and falls for the hottest girl on campus. He’s McLovin without the lovability. As the film opens, he decides it’s high time to take his shot. He wipes the steam off his glasses, sips his beer and approaches the dancing Ramona (Aggy Adams) at a house party. Plot twist! He denies her company, and before long, he is the laughing stock at school.
Watching Jacob’s exhausting, unfunny, edgelordy movie is akin to some kind of punishment and worse, no kind of the climax ever arrives. At its best “Oh Ramona!” is a poor rehashing of vulgar teen comedies like “Superbad” and “American Pie.” At its worst, well, take your pick. A voluptuous girl raping Andrei for laughs? Andrei “humorously” insulted with gay slurs at school for not sleeping with Ramona? Or how about a scene in which the word “retard” is hurtled at a clearly mentally unstable classmate? Whether this crime against rationality is worthy of the trash can or the recycling bin is something you probably shouldn’t even be bothered to find out. Let us take the bullet here.
Having found out about Andrei’s mishap in bed, his loving mom decides that a vacation on the coast could do him some good. One look at the stunning blonde in the lobby (Holly Horne) and he couldn’t agree more. The two dance in the moonlight, and for a brief moment, all is right in the world. Fans of “From Here to Eternity” will be charmed by their kiss under the crashing waves. Unfortunately, from here to the end of the film is about as funny as a car crash.
Written by Alex Cotet and Andrei Ciobanu, the rest of the movie falls on the hoary device of a love triangle. Does he still want Ramona (Adams)? Or does he want Anemona (Horne), the lobby girl? It won’t matter because the script makes all three of them unlikable. Andrei is a pervert. Ramona is depressed. And the most likable of the bunch, Anemona, has a boyfriend. A great love triangle should have you working out the pros and cons of the three lovers in your head throughout the run time; this one gives you an hour and 45 minutes barely even justifying its existence.
What’s missing is what makes hangout movies endlessly renewable: memorable characters, lasting friendships, and whip-smart wit. It’s a formula Romanian director Jacob seems to be utterly unfamiliar with. She seems to think that teens will watch this if she wallpapers her film with shots of short skirts, sex scenes and flagrant sexual innuendos (think “The Naked Gun” on steroids). But the result is tone deaf, dated, never sexy nor funny enough to grab our interest. What could have been good fun becomes a perpetual drag of jaw-dropping crudities and cringe-inducing antics that were seemingly written and directed by a horny teenage boy with no sense of taste.
The depth of “Oh, Ramona!” is words of wisdom that amount to: get laid, and people will like you. Still, things do eventually become pseudo-serious. Andrei has to learn that actions have consequences and that his hair looks better spiked than down. But by that point, you will have sat through so many ghastly jokes, silly subplots and irritating medium shots that you might need a tranquilizer (or a shower) just to gear back into neutral, non-traumatized-by-an-awful-movie state. At one point, Andrei whines “It’s like someone is strangling my soul, like I’m listening to Britney Spears.” Welcome to the club. [F]
