Hot on the heels of the big “Inglorious Bastards” announcement – Quentin Tarantino’s long-overdue film finally moving forward; shooting in October, shopping the script around for financing and potentially casting Brad Pitt in the movie – and the script reviews are pouring in.
Ok, not really, two of them have hit the interweb, but it’s something, right? Both Vulture and Latino Review (wait, are their going to be latino’s in the film?) have gotten their hands on the screenplay and like a trip to McDonald’s, they’re lovin’ it.
The esé’s say the script is a “masterpiece” and they write out a naturally laboriously long monologue that starts out like thus:
“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I’m putting together a special team. And I need me eight soldiers. Eight – Jewish – American – Soldiers. Now y’all might have heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leavin a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians.”
Apparently this films for the heebs, who evidently kick a lot of ass in the film according to the cholos. “Jews are going to be having a 70’s era Hugh Hefner style orgies because of the eight badasses of Tarantino’s INGLORIOUS BASTERDS! The Basterds are not in the prisoner takin business,” Latino Review write and note either Tarantino’s being cute or he can’t spell “bastards” because in the script it’s written as “Basterds.”
It could be either or, but Vulture says the script is littered with typos [ed. sort of like our blog], so it could be just Tarantino’s assistant faithfully typing out every word for word that he’s written on those long, yellow note pads (he doesn’t use a computer to write scripts apparently and does them in longhand).
They note that the script is 165 pages long. Long for an average screenplay, but not two films like many have suggested. And apparently it’s broken up into 5 chapters:
Chapter One: Once Upon a Time … Nazi Occupied France
Chapter Two: Inglorious Basterds
Chapter Three: German Night in Paris
Chapter Four: Operation Kino
Chapter Five: Revenge of the Giant Face
QT does love his chapters and title cards and the New York magazine bloggers says the script is quintessentially Tarantino-esque (replete with flashbacks and all).
“The script is definitely the ur-text of Quentin Tarantino’s career up to now; it combines his love of old movies (war movies, Westerns, and even prewar German cinema), his attraction to powerful female protagonists, his love of chatter, and his willingness to embrace the extreme — visually and in his storytelling.”
“All in all, it reads like ‘Kill Bill’ meets ‘The Dirty Dozen’ meets Cinema Paradiso,” they write. “Cinema Paradiso, what? We unabashedly adore that film, but that’s a new tone for Tarantino for sure (their are apparently some similar wistful cinephile scenes in the film). They also don’t think it’s a fake it’s that realistically QT (and what Latino Review has seems to corroborate its authenticity).
In conclusion they write, “If anyone is crazy enough to fund it, this movie is gonna be awesome.”
Ok, consider us officially intrigued. We never have much to barter with to get anything these days. We seemingly have no juice, but seriously? We have two free tickets to the All Point’s West music festival in New York (Jersey, with Radiohead et al) for the person that gets us a copy of the script we want to parse it that badly. Email us, no joke. No we’re not huge QT fans, he hasn’t made an unproblematic film arguably since “Pulp Fiction” (though we do still think “Jackie Brown” has a lot of charms), but we’re just really fascinated here since he’s been talking the script up for years. Anyhow, this is no joke. Get us a script. We’ll give you a pair of tix. Pretty sweet fucking deal, we’d say.
