This is the story of a hero, a martyr of cinema, a selfless man who willingly sacrificed his sanity in order to bring a horrible truth hiding in the underbelly of a wicked institution that has driven all who don’t belong in the category of the lowest common denominator to sheer madness: Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions.
That hero is Shawn Kohne, aka YouTube’s The UniBaller. Kohne watched all Happy Madison films and listened to all of Adam’s Sandler’s asinine audio albums in the dangerously short time span of two weeks in order to bring people this terrifying piece of information: All of Adam Sandler’s works exist within the same fictional universe. Yes, for over two decades, Sandler’s been chipping away at his own MCU, right under our noses.
During a 9-minute video, a visibly shaken Kohne uses a Carrie Matheson from “Homeland” style chart to show the indisputable links that put all Happy Madison productions inside the same hellish fictional universe.
READ MORE: Review: ‘Blended’ Starring Adam Sandler And Drew Barrymore
The skeptic in us will surely brush off some of the links provided in the video as sheer coincidence, or proof that Sandler will use the same lame joke over and over again due to sheer creative deficiency. A kid in “Blended” doing the “Happy Gilmore” dance, or the “You can do it!” and “That’s a huge bitch!” catchphrases. Yet how do we explain the existence of Ten Second Tom (Allen Covert) in both “40 First Dates” and “Blended”? The Puppy Who Lost His Way children’s book showing up in a bunch of Sandler films? Kevin James’ character in “Grown Ups” and “Grown Ups 2” apparently dying in 2017, as prophesized in “Click”?
Are those spawned from Sandler and his co-horts’ lazy writing as well? Or is there a deeper conspiracy underfoot? Wake up sheeple, before Sandler’s three remaining Netflix movies melts all of our brains into sloppy joes, causing us to vote for Donald Trump in 2016, bringing forth the end of humankind as we know it. For now, we have the heroic sacrifice of Shawn Kohne to thank for the one chance we have of preventing the apocalypse. Watch the video below, and share it with the rest of the world before it’s too late.
