God, we’re as sick of “The Dark Knight” as the next guy, but can this juggernaut of current pop culture really be taken down by a Brendan Fraser movie? Wouldn’t that be a horrible insult, third week or not? Who the hell would watch, let alone pay to see “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,” the threequel to Fraser’s useless cash-grab CGI-adventure farts. Can we have their name, photos and addresses so we can publicly shame them? Much like how pedophiles have to register their whereabouts on websites, shouldn’t ‘Mummy’ fans have to record their embarrassing love for these movies on file somewhere? (Doesn’t one of the AICN guys like these films? And holy shit, what is Maria Bello doing in this monstrosity? Someone needed a paycheck evidently)
Most publications and pundits are suggesting that ‘The Mummy 3’ has the lead and almost all box-office predictions look the same : Mummy in the $40 million dollar range and Batman ‘TDK’ in the $30 mill range. Again, we’re sick of ‘TDK’ and the psychotic fans that are still ripping apart anyone who dares to dissent against the film, but “The Mummy”? Really? We’d rather see ‘TDK’ rule the box-office for one more week than see the loathsome Brendan Fraser atop the movie charts. Hell, we’d rather see ‘Dark Knight’ beat the “Titanic” b.o. record before Fraser would sit at #1.
Oh, and while, we’re here completely specious rumors out of the National Inquirer (for fuck’s sake) via the almost-even shoddier Contact Music say Johnny Depp and Phillip Seymour Hoffman will play the Riddler and The Penguin respectively. We’re sort of embarrassed to even give this a buried story a mild look and anyone giving this headline coverage should be shamed (that’s more the reason we’re putting this here). It’s the National Inquirer for Christ almighty. Maybe when batboy, chupacabra mania takes hold in pop culture, blogs will start giving reports of UFO’s and five headed babies some play too. Fucking sad.