'Five Feet Apart' Demands You Leave Your Brain At Home To Enjoy This Ridiculous Teen Melodrama [Review]

While it’s not the most popular sub-genre of the teen romance pantheon, films involving one or both romantic interests being sick have been making waves over the last two decades. Movies such as “A Walk to Remember” and “The Fault in Our Stars” are pop culture touchstones. There was even a moment following those movies where films such as “Me and Earl and the Dying Girl” and “Me Before You” were poised to bring in the era of romances centered on folks with illnesses or disabilities. While that sort of phenomenon didn’t happen on the same level as the YA dystopian genre’s moment in the sun, the odd entry in this particular sub-genre pops up from time to time. Most recently, it’s Justin Baldoni’s Five Feet Apart,” starring Haley Lu Richardson and “Cole Sprouse,” which is a brain-dead story about two teenagers living with Cystic Fibrosis who meet in the hospital where they’re patients.

Baldoni’s intentions seem to have come from a good place with his new film. “Five Feet Apart” tells the story of Stella (Richardson) and Will (Sprouse), who share a not-so-cute meet-cute and, within a month, fall in love (as you do), risking their lives for the opportunity to pursue one another. There are moments of levity dotted throughout the film, where the adjective best used to describe the romance rises slightly above “fine” into the territory of “promising.” But sadly, those aren’t enough to conquer the most obvious issues.

There’s nothing wrong with showcasing how two terminally ill teenagers can go about their lives with the same expectations as those surrounding them – it’s encouraged even, especially when the characters aren’t primarily viewed through their diagnosis. However, Baldoni’s direction, combined with the screenplay, takes great pains to wring out every ounce of tragedy that a story such as this could hold, going from potentially sweet romance to melodrama just for the sake of it.

“Five Feet Apart,” which often ventures into aggressively illogical territory, asks the audience to actively suspend their disbelief numerous times. However, because of the other issues that linger throughout the film, the leaps of faith that the audience is asked to take seem minor in comparison.

For instance, a teenage patient is allowed to keep a Med Cart in her room to distribute her own medications and treatments based on her own schedule supported by the weak case of her having OCD? It seems unlikely (illegal and unethical, also), but we can roll with it. Said teenager striking up a romance with a fellow Cystic Fibrosis patient when that is literally the biggest possible threat to their lives? Again, seems like a stretch but it was the whole point of the film so we went in with these expectations.

But, it’s when the film begins treating the hospital as a mutual play area for staff and patients where it begins to cross over from questionably plausible to distractingly ludicrous. Screenwriters Tobias Iaconis and Mikki Daughtry lose the thin thread they’d been hanging off of when they force enraging stupidity on a fiercely independent girl smart enough to create her own apps and control her own regimen, all in order to justify some horrendous decision making at the expense of any previously earned agency. Nothing about “Five Feet Apart” is enough to infer that the screenwriters have ever stepped foot inside a hospital, nonetheless spoken a word to a teenager.

That being said, the saving grace of “Five Feet Apart” is Richardson’s committed performance to a lackluster character. The young actress’ immediately charismatic and soulful performance aids in making Stella the lifeforce of the film and the only interesting character who is more than a stockpile of teenage tropes. Of course, this is ripped away from her when the film chooses to go the route of sanctimonious, “love above all else” message that underscores everything we’ve come to know about the character, forcing ill-advised development so that Will can get his sacrificial moment of heroism and even grander declaration of love. Richardson is superb, as always, and as she continues on in her career she’ll no doubt continue to grow following impressive turns in films such as “The Edge of Seventeen,” “Columbus” and “Support the Girls” but she could only bear the weight of the entire film on her back for so long before it all collapsed.

Sprouse is serviceable when he’s only asked to react to the situations surrounding him. Ultimately, it’s when he is asked to talk, when things fall apart, thanks to the barrage of awkward dialogue he’s asked to deliver. Moisés Arias is relatively winsome as Stella’s best friend, Poe, but even he isn’t given enough to do. The rest of the supporting actors are such non-characters that by the time Stella’s parents arrive together on screen there’s no emotional impact.

Baldoni seemingly uses the film as a way to discover his style as a director. From earthy shaky cam footage that suggests a grittier production to commercial like sheens that are overly sterile in effect, the direction is all over the place. 

On paper, “Five Feet Apart” has all of the components to fit squarely into the sub-genre of films that have come before it. In execution, the teen romance never packs the emotional wallop it so obviously, self-satisfyingly, believes it does. [D]