Mothers, hold on to your daughters if they’re into bestiality, because Justin Timberlake makes a very handsome Boo-Boo on the new “Yogi Bear” poster. Yes, you jejune motherfuckers, “Yogi Bear” is happening, and as much as you wanted to ignore this cultural moment, it’s prepared to pry your rectum open and loudly insert itself into your life. Bottoms up, bitch.
“Yogi Bear,” based on the sacred text of William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, concerns the chronicles of a lazy bear exploiting the delicate ecosystem of Yellowstone National Park by disrupting the lives of everyday taxpayers, swiping their picnic baskets and generally acting as a drain on our welfare system. The original ‘toon ran for one year in 1960, which means “Yogi”‘s biggest fanbase is at least forty or older, and since you’re visiting Grandpa Barnaby’s this Christmas, guess what we’re doing, kids?
Dan Aykroyd, who hasn’t been relevant since the last war, is grabbing a paycheck to voice the titular bastard, with Timberlake at his side in an oddly modern plot about a documentary crew following the bears trying to thwart a plan to close the park. Because there’s nothing kids like more than evading homelessness in a de-pressurized economy! Anna Faris is voicing the filmmaker, while Christine Taylor is playing Cindy Bear and Jeffrey Jones is playing Pedobear.
