We were originally going to do two separate lists of Most Disappointing and Most Overrated films of 2009 but as we were getting it together, we realized that many of the films could have easily landed in both categories. We don’t necessarily hate the films below, but these are pictures that we went into with a lot of anticipation or had pre-built buzz that ultimately left us a bit cold (some obviously more than others, read on). These are the films we wish were better, or in a few cases, or just not what their respective fanboy cults make them out to be. Hell, with a few tweaks, some of these may have ended up vying for our favorite films of the year but as it stands these one just didn’t quite come together.
“Avatar”
How can James Cameron’s space epic not be the most overrated film of 2009, if not the entire decade? It’s already passed the $1.5 fucking billion dollar mark worldwide and will probably sail past the “Titanic” mark for highest grossing film of all time. But c’mon people! It’s simplistic, formulaic, unsophisticated and features some pretty stock characters we’ve seen a thousand times (with some pretty mediocre actors, hello Sam Worthington). Yes, there’s no denying that “Avatar” was entertaining and sure, at times a hell of a lot of fun, but it’s “Dances With Wolves” in space (and a little “Thundercats” thrown in) no matter how you slice it and ultimately, pretty conventional. The film might have done gangbusters numbers, but to quote Roger Ebert, “the year’s best picture? Give me a f–king break.”
“Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans”
We’re not sure why this film became a cause of celebre for hipsters (other than their predictable predilection for ironic performances), but if it had gone straight-to-video and wasn’t directed by Werner Herzog would anyone have even given a shit? Yes, there are some distinctly Herzog-ian camera tricks, some out-and-out WTF moments that are amusing and Nicolas Cage hasn’t been this interesting in years (though when you’ve spent a decade making an endless string of crap anything with a gram of integrity is going to stand out). But the film itself is a uninteresting police procedural, that feels like a hastily cobbled together paycheck gig and it’s so drastically uneven, the two hours it takes to watch it feels like an entire afternoon.
“Precious”
Clumsy, ham-fisted, sloppy, and stylistically incongruous, “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” is the cinematic equivalent of fingerpainting. Even the largely terrific performances (rising above racial caricature whenever possible) and the film’s big-hearted sentiment can’t overcome the fact that the movie is a huge fucking mess, in which merely wallowing in human misery (but never transcending it) is enough. Mercifully, the overwhelming critical support seems to have tapered off and its Oscar chances seem to be dwindling as well, but people still seem to be confusing this malicious, manipulative movie with one that’s genuinely powerful.
“Brüno”
God, we nearly pissed our pants laughing with paralytical convulsions at SXSW when we were shown 20 minutes of footage from Sacha Baron Cohen’s follow-up to “Borat.” We assumed we’d be vomit laughing when this came out, but sadly, no, “Bruno,” was a deeply flawed effort, seemingly compromised from several angles (that tacked-on, feel-good ending being one) and basically like a sketch collection of a few scenes that were sadly not as funny as we all hoped. Worse than that, what moments were hilarious from the film have all but evaporated from our memory — nothing truly comedic enough to stick in our minds and quote annoyingly for months like “Borat” (and maybe that’s for the best).
“Capitalism: A Love Story”
While we may not always approve of his methods (his fudging of facts to suit his arguments can be troubling at times), Michael Moore’s documentaries have always been fascinating, and most importantly, found the human side of whatever issue he was tackling. When it was announced that his latest film would take dead aim at the failed banking system and housing collapse, it seemed like a perfect fit for Moore. Unfortunately, while Moore’s indignation was palpable and occasionally very rousing, the film was disappointingly lacking in substance. Bereft of interviews or material from key players within the economic collapse, the documentary is pretty much a lot of furrowed brows, shrugging shoulders and tears for ninety minutes. There is a great, provocative documentary to be made from the events over the past year, but this one isn’t it.
“Funny People”
Ah, hell we should have known. While Judd Apatow’s epic script for his cancer, self-discovery dramedy was hilarious and his most mature effort to date — inside it was the incredibly exciting potentially for creating a soulful, funny/sad James L.Brooks-like masterpiece — but there was always something off with that third act. The film had a stellar cast of Apatow regulars, plus new editions to the crew like Eric Bana, RZA, Aziz Ansari and Jason Schwartzman, but in execution, Apatow didn’t quite know how to land his massive airship once it took such majestic flight. The exorbitantly lengthy film — it’s almost impossible to sustain a 2 1/2 hour comedy — is akin to Apatow pitching seven amazing innings, but ultimately, he just didn’t know how to close, and the game went far too deep into unnecessary extra innings, spoiling what led up to it. A bit of shame, cause there’s some great stuff in this picture.
“Public Enemies”
On paper, Michael Mann’s period-piece gangster picture should have been one of the greatest movies of the year, an Academy Award contender; all of it. Heavyweights Johnny Depp and Christian Bale going toe to toe, plus an amazing cast that included Marion Cotillard, Billy Crudup, Stephen Dorff, Lili Taylor, Channing Tatum, Giovanni Ribisi, Emilie de Ravin and Stephen Lang (just to name a few)? C’mon! But sadly, something went awry and that ineffable missing element might have been a soul, as the picture — a sprawling 2 1/2 hours — never really coalesced or came to life until the very end, but by then it was a little too late. While Mann’s attention to detail is second to none, perhaps that meticulousness sidetracked him from the heart of the matter. Plus the decision to shoot a Depression-era period drama in butty-ugly digital video — hey, digital can look good, just not here — will haunt him for years.
“Broken Embraces”
Damn, we wanted to love this film because, even though it didn’t quite work, it had so much going for it. Blessed with a beautiful score, a luminous performance by Penelope Cruz and Pedro Almodovar’s always reliable eye behind the camera, the perhaps too-complicated “Broken Embraces” still didn’t fully gel. The meta-narrative, that was based around time-jumping flashbacks and various films-within-the-film never could keep up with itself and seemed to get in the way more often than allowing the story engine to move forward. Somewhere along the way, the film’s story about a call girl’s journey from prostitute to artistic muse, coupled with Almodovar’s love letter to cinema, didn’t quite resonate as deeply as we had hoped.
“Thirst”
After coming off the apparently unsuccessful, romantic comedy, “I’m a Cyborg, But That’s OK,” we were hoping Park Chan-Wook (the director of the critically acclaimed vengeance trilogy featuring “Oldboy”) would come back with a well…a vengeance. And while his absurdist vampire romance-thriller was bloodthirsty, stylish and ambitious as all get out, it was also a bit of a wandering, muddled and confused mess. Yes, it had moments of brilliance and comedy and his trademark audacious camera doing some dazzling work, but it also felt like the South-Korean auteur was a) trying to one-up fellow countryman Bong Joon-ho and b) trying to make five films at once. While there’s individual moments to admire, the spectacle of “Thirst” was otherwise largely disappointing.
“The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus”
Yeah, we know you don’t believe us, but we actually wanted to this to be better than it was. Terry Gilliam’s wildly ambitious tale about a deal with the Devil gone awry never quite recovered after its lead, Heath Ledger, passed away. While Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp and Jude Law do an admirable job of pinch hitting, Gilliam’s last minute script save just doesn’t work. Overly long, oddly paced, and most unforgivably, saddled with unmemorable visuals, “The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus” was a wheezy, creaky duct tape job to a film that was probably more irreparably damaged with Ledger’s passing than the filmmakers wanted to admit. Again, we know you don’t believe us, but we’re still rooting for Gilliam and we know he’s capable of much better. — Kevin Jagernauth, Drew Taylor & RP
