'I May Destroy You': Paapa Essiedu's Emmy News Was Truly Surreal

Imagine if your longtime friend was writing and producing a series that featured a role you were perfect for. And then imagine she didn’t ask you to audition. In fact, you only got an audition at the recommendation of a casting director. That was the case for Paapa Essiedu in what turned out to be an Emmy nominated role in his longtime friend Michaela Coel‘s critically lauded series, “I May Destroy You.”

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“When she’s auditioning people, she has to be a certain version of herself. And it was really odd to see all of us try to be the right type of person for that scenario,” Essiedu explains. “And the audition was so weird because I was in there for a very short time, I wasn’t in there for a long time at all. And no one really said anything at any of my readings; no one said anything. So I was like, “What the fuck is going on here?” And then afterward, I actually remember ringing Michaela and being like, ‘What the hell was that? Was I just really bad? What happened?’ And she was like, ‘What? What do you mean? It was fine.’ But she wasn’t like, ‘You were really good.’ She was just like, ‘I don’t know, were we being weird?’ So I was just like, ‘This is a bit mad.’ So it wasn’t awkward, but it was a different experience for us. But working with one of your friends is a dream, and she is a dream. So like you say, it works out for the best in the end.”

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It did turn out for the best. Over the past year, the HBO and BBC Studios production earned a prestigious Peabody Award, won two Independent Spirit Awards, five BAFTA Awards, and is now nominated for eight Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series. During a conversation earlier this month, Essiedu reflected on the public’s reaction to “Destroy You” and his own shock over earning an Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie.

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The Playlist: What was your reaction to the Emmy nomination announcement?

Paapa Essiedu: It was just such an overwhelming moment. Because I really, really, honestly, I know people always say this, but I really, really honestly did not see it coming. I didn’t even know that was the day that it was being announced. I got told by my little niece, who lives in Texas in Houston, who had been watching it live on the internet. And yeah, I was actually in the middle of a working day; I would do a voiceover for the BBC. And in COVID times, actors have been doing voiceovers in cupboards, wherever you can find some space. In a wardrobe, in a cupboard, wherever, put a duvet over your head to replicate a studio. But I never got the script; I didn’t get the script for ages. So I was just really sat in my girlfriend’s cupboards, in that flat, by myself, in the dark for about an hour, just letting it all very, very slowly sink in. So, it was a surreal moment.

Will you be able to come to Los Angeles for the Emmy Awards ceremony?

Yeah, that’s the hope. At the moment, that’s the hope. Obviously, we’re living in a time where anything and everything will change at the drop of a hat. So that’s what I’m planning to do, and I’d love to, mainly just to see everybody. We’ve been really fortunate to be nominated in several different categories, and we’re such a close-knit team as a whole. So I can’t wait to see everybody. But yeah, hopefully, fingers crossed, I’d really love to be there.

I saw an interview with you, and I was totally unaware of this, but you and Michaela went to theater school together?

Yeah, that’s true. We went to drama school together.

Ah, drama school, sorry. And while you were both good friends, you had to audition through a casting director because she hadn’t thought of you. It all worked out in the end, but was that an awkward moment at all?

I’ll tell you what, the weirdest moment was the actual audition for Michaela. When she’s auditioning people, she has to be a certain version of herself. And it was really odd to see all of us try to be the right type of person for that scenario. And the audition was so weird because I was in there for a very short time; I wasn’t in there for a long time at all. And no one really said anything at any of my readings. No one said anything. So I was like, “What the fuck is going on here?” And then afterward, I actually remember ringing Michaela and being like, “What the hell was that? Was I just really bad? What happened?” And she was, “What? What do you mean? It was fine.” But she wasn’t like, “You were really good.” She was just like, “I don’t know, were we being weird?” So, I was just like, “This is a bit mad.” So it wasn’t awkward, but it was a different experience for us. But working with one of your friends is a dream, and she is a dream. So, as you say, it works out for the best in the end.

Her personal experiences inspire her character’s story. Did she base Kwame’s story on anyone she knew?

Yeah, I think all the characters are a mixture of fiction and fantasy. And they’re all based on several people; they’re all based on an amalgamation of several people. So I think there are a lot of people out there who are talking like, “Yeah, Kwame was based on me.” Or, “Terry was based on me.” Or, “Simon was based on me.” But they’re all liars; there are no individuals, really. It’s not a literal reincarnation, even of Arabella. Arabella is inspired by Michaela’s experience but isn’t Michaela at all.

Did Michaela tell you why though, she felt it was important to put Kwame’s storyline in the series?

She’s always been one to push the envelope and try and look at an issue or a certain storyline, let’s call it, in its totality. Especially when sexual assault and consent, we’re used to seeing it [through] a certain lens. But even the lens that we see it through in Michaela’s storyline, we’re not really used to seeing it through a black woman’s eyes, so even that was radical enough in itself. But she wanted to look at it from many different perspectives. And again, it wasn’t about saying that this is right, or this is wrong, or this is how we should or shouldn’t be. It was really about playing up the situations and posing the questions. And leaving the audience to make their own decisions.

Obviously, you can read a script and be on set and think, oh, wow, you’re making something great, or it feels it’s going in the right direction. But was there a moment, either in that respect or when you saw it, or you saw the reactions to it, that you realized this was something special that people would be asking you about for years to come?

It definitely wasn’t when we were doing it. It was very much one of those, for all of us, Michaela included, where when we were doing it, we were like, “What are we doing here?” It’s not a linear show; it doesn’t really have a precedent to compare it to. So we really were swimming out there in the dark, but we believed in what we were doing and were invigorated by what we were doing. And the only thing that anyone asked of us was to be truthful and committed, and there’s simplicity in that. And it’s also weird because it came out in that first lockdown. So, we were all locked in our houses, let alone the viewing public. So it was incredible to see, or hear, or to feel the reaction, but we were feeling differently to shows of yore, like “Game of Thrones” or whatever. It wasn’t all red carpets and talk shows. But, if anything, I prefer it this way. It was about walking into your local shop and someone literally talking to you, through a mask, about what it meant to them or what it had made them think or feel or do. So yeah, there was definitely a significance in the way it was received.

You sort of touched on my follow-up. Have you run into people when lockdown ended, or even recently, who recognize you on the street and comment on the show?

I don’t often get recognized on the street, which I’m very grateful for. I really know why. I think it’s because I often look very much less cool than my characters. You’ll often see me dressed in second-hand trousers or whatever. So, people are like, “That hobo couldn’t possibly be on TV.” Yeah, I’m kind of grateful for that because it means my life isn’t invaded. But, there’s been several occasions, it probably happens to me maybe once or twice a week where someone will be like, “Oh my God, that show is so blah, blah, blah.” I know Michaela gets it a lot, a lot, a lot. But, yeah, we feel a very privileged position to have done something that meant so much to so many people.

Over the course of the series, Kwame goes through quite an arc. Was there any scene or moment that you were nervous or were fixated on in the sense of, “I have to nail this. I have to knock this out of the park.”, sort of thing?

You feel that about all the scenes. And different scenes have got different challenges. The more obvious scenes people often ask me about are the more physical, traumatic, maybe explicit scenes, which have their own challenges. Which are around our ideas around consent, what we’re comfortable with, what we’re willing to show, etc. But there are challenges in being in the back of a scene where something is happening that’s really important, impactful, or stressful for another character. And how to still be present and supportive, both as a character and as an actor. So, I was stressed and invigorated by the whole bit. We did get all the episodes to begin with, but those episodes from the beginning were different from what we ended up in by the last day of shooting. We really went through dozens and dozens of drafts, and amends, and whatnot. It was a great, organic process.

I’m not suggesting that it was a difficult shoot, but it was clearly one where creatively it was being worked out on set, which often happens. When you finally saw the episodes, what was your reaction?

I found them very intense. Also, remember, as I said, this was in peak lockdown; this is when we’ve been really binge-watching. This was the peak of that binge-watching. I watched the whole of “The Wire,” five seasons of all of that, but I could never watch more than one episode at a time of “I May Destroy You.” There was something about what it demanded or what it required of the viewer that just for me didn’t lend itself to dumping the whole thing on my head and heart at once. So I found it really intense, and it demanded a lot from me, and I knew what was happening. So I can’t imagine what the experience was like for someone that didn’t.

Before I let you go, I know you worked on some other stuff when we came out of lockdown, including the “Anne Boleyn series, but do you have anything else upcoming? And are you returning to the stage anytime soon?

Yeah, I’ve been fortunate. I’ve got a couple of other projects at work, I’ve got a film coming out next year, and I’ve got a TV show in the UK called “Extinction.” In terms of returning to the stage, I love theater, and I owe a lot to theater, and often I feel most alive when I’m on stage. So, I’m hopeful that there’ll be an opportunity in the not too distant future where I get to do that again.

“I May Destroy You” is available on HBO Max.