‘Persuasion’ Review: Dakota Johnson Stars In A Painfully Dull Take On Jane Austen’s Classic

A sea sponge has no nervous system. It has no eyes, ears, or mouth. It can’t physically feel a thing. Yet, step on a sea sponge, and you’ll feel pain. Observe their vivid colors, their intrinsic nooks, and cranes, and you’ll feel awe. Hold them in your hand, and they’ll tickle — maybe you’ll spare a chuckle or two. Carrie Cracknell’s newest adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic novel “Persuasion” is the very opposite. It has a metaphorical nervous system — it moves and breathes. It has eyes and ears, and mouths. Yet, watch it, and you’ll feel nothing. 

When Netflix confirmed it was due to tackle Austen’s swan song with a stellar cast headed by Dakota Johnson, Cosmo Jarvis, and Henry Golding, many were reminded of the famous words uttered by Captain Wentworth. Audiences were, in fact, half agony, half hope. Like Autumn DeWilde’s ever-charming “Emma,” this is the directorial debut of a young woman who made waves in a different creative field prior to venturing into filmmaking. DeWilde with photography, Cracknell, theatre. Both films also reaped some buzz from their in-demand leads, with Anya Taylor-Joy and Dakota Johnson saturating social media feeds dressed in frills and bobs in promo stills that banked on eager retweeters. 

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With the release of the “Persuasion’s” first trailer, hope gave way to trepidation. Gone was the charming idea of a modernized Austen that recognized there was little need for yet another page-by-page adaptation. “Fleabag” and “Bridgerton” comparisons were made by every person and their mother. And, sadly, this is virtually what Cracknell’s film is, a lifeless regurgitation of ideas that were successful precisely because of their daring freshness, a trait blatantly amiss here. 

Johnson is Anne Elliott; a 27-year-old spinster repeatedly reminded of her empty ring finger by every member of her affluent family. No suitor has ever struck luck in courting the woman, as no suitor was ever Captain Wentworth (Jarvis), the man she fell in love with — and became engaged to — eight years prior, just to be persuaded to dissolve the union by her godmother and confidant, Lady Russell (Nikki Amuka-Bird), who warned her of the dangers of marrying someone of a much lower rank. The almost decade-old heartbreak still feels very much raw to Anne. “The playlist he made me,” she says tearily while holding up a handful of music sheets to the camera, one of the many items in a box of mementos she keeps under her bed. 

Parallel to Anne’s heroine journey is a troupe of many characters. You have the unbearably vain patriarch, Sir Walter Elliott (played here by the always great Richard E. Grant), the two contrasting yet equally obnoxious sisters, Mary (Mia McKenna-Bruce) and Elizabeth (Yolanda Kettel), a handful of secondary names in the Musgroves, the Crofts, in-laws, informal acquaintances, landlords and such and, finally, Anne’s alternative love interest, William Elliot (Golding), her cousin and heir to the crumbling Elliott estate.

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The beloved characters constructed by Austen are rendered insipid in this retelling that can’t quite seem to find its footing, trapped between a desire to dip into hip modernism and an inherent pull towards the original material. As if to make up for an uncomfortably tangible lack of depth, writers Ron Bass and Alice Victoria Winslow turn dialogue into crutches, feeding cringeworthy oneliners to the Netflix-hired screen grabbers who will make a meal out of quips such as, “It is often said if you’re a five in London you’re a ten in Bath” and, “We’re worse than friends. We’re exes.” 

Often when a period piece lacks emotional engagement, a slice of redemption can be found in the visual time machine built through a combination of production design, costume, and make-up & hairstyling, opulence a nifty diversion. Alas, not even that can redeem “Persuasion”; its sets and props are all a painful reflection of the dullness that plagues the script. The same frustrating inertia is felt in the performances, with even Johnson, who recently delivered two of her best turns in “Cha Cha Real Smooth” and “The Lost Daughter,” enveloped in forgetful mediocrity. 

“When pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure,” says Anne at a certain point in the original book. The same, sadly, can’t be said of Cracknell’s effort, as, the longer it lingers, the more uninspired it seems. [D]

“Persuasion” arrives on Netflix on July 15.