Was it the utter lack of expectations? Was it the fact that we hadn’t spoiled anything for ourselves, having only seen one basic trailer? Or was it that Judd Apatow/ Robert Smiegel factor (they co-wrote the film with the star)? Something is very wrong here: we really enjoyed the new Adam Sandler film, the Mossad-turned-hairdresser comedy “You Don’t Mess With Zohan” (ever since Eric Bana in “Munich,” Hollywood heebs have seemingly been obsessed with asserting their manhood rather than their Allen/Roth-like neurosis).
To say Sandler’s recent comedies haven’t been up to snuff lately would be like saying this year’s Democratic nomination election was a tad long winded – it’s a massive understatement. The fact is we’ve barely even seen them any of his recent flicks. We’ll practically watch anything once on the movie pay channels for free, but lord knows we haven’t been able to stomach more than 5-10 minutes of any Sandler related comedy since, “Mr. Deeds,” (probably because of John Turturro) and before that the last straight-out funny film he had was “Happy Gilmore.”
The movie’s he’s provided in the interim have been impossibly unfunny, insipid inanities that made you wonder aloud if he actually was mentally retarded. The joke were not only juvenile, they were flat and uninspired. There’s nothing wrong with stoopid, puerile potty humor (see Zohan) if it’s executed well, but Sandler’s shtick had become downright embarrassing and actually, just not even worth noting or griping about – they were practically invisible.
So the impossibly silly, but immensely enjoyable ‘Zohan,’ was a surprisingly, fun, caught-off-guard treat. Sandler stars (obviously) as the titular, uber-macho, virile fighting machine – the Rambo of Israel and an elite member of the Mossad secret service. But after years of senseless fighting, particularly against his arch Arabic nemesis “The Phantom” (Turturro), Zohan grows tired of the vicious cycle and fakes his death so he can escape to New York city. There, the fighter can finally turn lover and fulfill his lifelong dream: to style hair in the “silky smooth” manner of his inspiration Paul Mitchell (but not before engaging in some massively staged, wildly preposterous, but highly amusing action sequences with Turturro – OK, we take it back, we get where the alleged $90 million went, damn; the film spares no expense, CGI is effortlessly doled out for any old gag – some filmmakers would be so lucky)
Zohan fumbles around New York, makes some Israeli friends and after many failed attempts, finally lands in a low-rent hair salon owned by a beautiful Palestinian girl (“Entourage” belle Emmanuelle Chriqui) – yes, he has to stoop that low.
From there the libidinous hairdresser develops a huge mom-styled, older lady clientele for his notoriously salacious coif-cutting appointments (crude scatological raunch sprayed everywhere challenging all forms of good taste and the limits of the PG-13 rating, but are so damn wrong, they’re admittedly pretty hilarious at times; the running hummus gag being rather entertaining). The salon – always at risk of being gentrified out of existence by the local, money-grubbing blowhard (gentile) developers – is saved by the cash cow that becomes Zohan’s obtruding package, but an eventual showdown can’t help but happen.
The politics, while subversive for an Adam Sandler film, aren’t going to challenge your average viewer, but considering his constituency and the lowest common denominator hum most of his films operate at, dare we say some of his devotees might even be confused. The comedic brushstrokes also chart at a relatively muted level, Rob Scheider – one of the world’s worst culprits of broad, stereotypical farce – actually reigns in it (relatively) for his turn as an Arab cabbie obsessed with ousting Zohan and grabbing some Palestinian glory. And while yes, the comedy isn’t seditious, quips about the Hezbollah phone line, the predictable breakdown in peace talks and the historic, yet complex levels of vengeance and retribution (“I’m just saying, it’s not so cut and dried!” one assassin shouts as he plummets to his death) leave both sides on the hook (the many digs at the expense of anti-semetic actor Mel Gibson are super humorous too).
There’s a boatload of cameos: Mariah Carey plays an air-headed, bimbo singer (herself), rocker Dave Matthews portrays a white-trash racist hired to mess with the “towelheads,” Smeigel pops up as a local mensch, Charlotte Rae (aka Mrs. Garett from “The Facts Of Life”) is one of the many elderly women that the lascivious Zohan sexes up, and Chris Rock makes a quick cameo as a dreadlocked cabbie (and let us tell you, Rock can’t do a Jamaican accent for shit).
Sandler’s ‘Zohan’ isn’t genius, and its naive, one-dimensional utopian finale (we’re all just people, people!) is certainly not going to bring peace to the Middle East anytime soon, but for imbecilic comedy, that’s relatively mature, you could do a lot worse. And hey, at least it wasn’t “Semi-Pro.” [B+]
