‘Special’s’ Ryan O’Connell On Problematic Auditions & That Extra Emmy Nod [Interview]

There is a storyline in Ryan O’Connell’s Emmy-nominated “Special” that finds the lead character, played by O’Connell, attending a weekly gay poker night on the east side of Los Angeles.  Full disclosure, it’s a real poker night this writer attends and the character who runs the night is based on a mutual friend of ours.  I could never understand why O’Connell, who adapted the series from his own novel, “I’m Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves,” didn’t ask any of the regulars to show up as background extras.  The poker night is often a pretty crowded affair with at least three packed tables.  The show, on the other hand, had just one game going with a few actors.  As I discovered in my conversation with O’Connell, that’s what happens when your budget forces you to shoot in Austin and not home in Los Angeles (granted, it’s a fantastic Austin for Los Angeles).

READ MORE: Snubs and Surprises of the 2019 Emmy Nominations

“Special” centers on “Ryan,” again, O’Connell, a twentysomething dealing not only with being gay but mild cerebral palsy. Moving out on his own for the first time, he has to learn to give his mother, Karen (Jessica Hecht), space and develop a group of friends in the real world such as Kim (Punam Patel) his co-worker at the online outlet that sounds a lot like Buzzfeed, Eggwoke. It goes without saying that there has never been a program that depicted a gay disabled character as its central character.

Even in this age of Peak TV, however, it took “Special” a long time to get to the screen.  Jim Parson’s production company helped shepherd it, but it only got greenlit as a 15-minute long program.  And it’s not as easy to tell a story with multiple characters over eight 15 minute episodes as you might think.  But, along the way Netflix championed it and O’Connell’s baby landed four Emmy nominations including Outstanding Short Form Comedy or Drama Series and, eventually, Actor in a Short Form Comedy or Drama Series.

O’Connell jumped on the phone last week to discuss, among other topics, his unexpected acting Emmy nomination, his new love of performing and an audition that went very, very wrong.

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The Playlist: Before I get onto the Emmy stuff. Why did you not call everyone from gay poker to come and act as extras in your gay poker scene? We all would’ve done it for free.  You could’ve had three tables!

Ryan O’Connell: Honey, honey. Like everything, it all leads up to money. We shot in Austin. We did not shoot in L.A.

Oh wow!

Yeah, the whole thing was shot in Texas. Can you believe?

I thought you honestly shot it in L.A. I had no idea.

Oh my God, that’s a testament to our DPR director. Yep, we shot it all in Austin Texas.

How many weeks did you even have to shoot it?

19 shoot days.

Wait, what?

Honey, it was harrowing. My teeth are chattering just thinking about it.

So, I was reading up on the long journey it took from your book to become a TV series. When Netflix finally gave the go-ahead was the caveat, “Okay, we’re giving you the money but it’s only 15-minute episodes because we’re doing this sort of experiment sort of thing?”

No, no, no. Totally opposite. So, I sold it to this digital branch of one of those called Stage 13. They were only doing short film content. This is after literally everybody and their mom and their mom’s cousin passed and I was like totally desperado and I was like, “Oh, I literally never envisioned this is a 15-minute show but I guess I can do it!” So, they commissioned me to write the script. But then we sent the scripts to Netflix and Netflix was like, “Oh like lol, we’ve actually never done short-form before, but we really like these scripts, so we’ll do it.” So, we were like their first short-form baby.

I think a lot of people who become fans of the show don’t realize is you have been in the business for a while. You’ve worked on other shows. You know how to write screenplays or teleplays. How hard was it to structure going from the idea of a 30 or 20 minute, structure to 15 min? 

It was fucking brutal. It was so brutal. I need to be upfront about this because I think people are not honest about how hard things are and they’re just like, “Anyways, it just poured out of me.” No, honey. This did not pour out of me, honey. This was like a clubbed pipe that we had to like massage every day. No, it was really difficult because I come from the land of half-hours, so I know how to break a half hour. I know how to break an hour. With 15 pages you have no room for anything. It’s just like straight story. It’s like beats, beats, every line needs to count for something and you can’t do anything somewhere else. You can’t let anything breathe. That’s why when Ryan’s moment with his [first sexual experience] is cut to him literally losing his virginity to a sex worker. Things need to be jam-packed and you also can’t have a C story. In a half-hour script, you can have the A story, B story, C story. No C story [here]. You need to have an A story, and then a light B story. And so episode five is kind of pulled from Karen’s point of view and I knew I had to do that because otherwise she was going to just be a runner the entire season and would never really fully connect to this character. So, I had to do some “MacGyver” shit in order to make Karen’s arc fully realized in the way that Ryan’s was. And then Kim, my beloved queen Kim, [I feel] never really got he storyline that she deserved. I just kind of had to use her sparingly, which was such a bummer in Ryan’s story. And so season two, if we are officially green-lit or whatever, will be half-hour. It really is because I just need more real estate to tell these stories.

I thought you guys had already been green-lit for season two. Is that not official yet?

It’s not official yet. I don’t know.

Did they say when they’ll even let you know?

Yeah, it’s like whatever.

Fun times!

Yeah.

Let’s talk about the Emmys because, again, you’ve worked in the TV industry for a while. I know it’s your baby, but as someone who is a television “veteran,” in the best way possible, what did it mean to be recognized by your peers with these nods?

On my God beyond. Because I always feel like we’re like the red-headed step-child that broke through, snuck in through the back door when the guard was asleep.  I remember I did a panel for Netflix that was with the showrunners of “The OA,” “Dead to Me,” “Ozark” and “Bojack Horseman” and I was just like, “Here I am. You know short-form gay disabled baby!” You know what I mean? I just feel like recognized by the Television Academy for what we did. It’s just above and beyond what I had hoped for because this show is always been hanging on by a thread. It’s always just been powering through and getting by, by the skin of its teeth. So to receive the highest honor for television is just like, “Oh shit!” But it also kind of tracks up the narrative, which is that if we just keep on fucking trucking and just defying the odds.

Talk about hanging on by a thread, you initially found out you guys had the series nomination and then you discovered you were a lovely first alternate and landed an acting nomination. What was your reaction? Was that more exciting?

It was just like, “Yeah, that tracks.” Given everything with the show of course I would be nominated four days later. It’s like again, sneaking in through the back door when no one’s awake. Of course, it was a huge honor. Getting nominated for three Emmy’s was above and beyond what I could have hoped for. And so to have the fourth nomination, which was, I think, every category we were eligible for. To get nominated for everything that we were eligible for was just sort of psychotic and amazing. So yeah, it was very, very surreal. It’s also crazy because it’s my first acting job. So, like wow.

I want to get to that for a second. But you talk about being on the skin of your teeth and sort of getting through, but one of the amazing things I thought about the show when it went on Netflix is that the social media response was very visible. Just even as a casual person who follows all sorts of different gay Twitter, film Twitter, TV Twitter, sports Twitter, whatever, and I was wondering was it more than you expected? How did you feel about the sort of response you got online?

I have learned to not expect anything ever. I feel like whenever I expect something, I’m always disappointed. I’ve learned, after working in the business for six long years, to manage expectations always, because you just never know. Now that being said, I’ve always believed in this show. I always believed that if it was given the proper platform that it would find a place and it would find it’s audience. But I just had no idea. I think the press was really crazy to me. I did not expect the press to be that much. I really, really didn’t. And also the thing I was most nervous about was the response from the disabled community. Because whenever you’re the first person or one of the first people to tell a story about disability you feel the burden of representation. You feel like, “Oh, I gotta get this right.” But at the end of the day, it’s my story and it’s my experience and I can’t speak for everybody. That’s impossible. But the response from the disabled community was just so overwhelmingly positive. Once I got that, that’s truly all I cared about that. That was the thing I was most nervous about. I wanted just to do right by these people and I want them to accept and love the show and I got that. So everything after that was just kind of gravy to me.

I’m curious about that response. With the excitement is there a lot of, “Hey can you show this next time? Can you do an episode about A, B, C, or D?”

A little bit, but not much. The thing about the show that’s hard is like in season two I definitely want to have [other] disabled people on the show. But the thing that’s hard about it is like Ryan has internalized ableism and he doesn’t want to be around that. I think it’s also important to note that Ryan is basically surrounded by able-bodied people every day, which is my real-life experience. I think that contributes to the internalized ableism. Is that I am not around disabled people that often. And so I’m not around people who look like me, who talk like me, who walk like me, which really fucks with your head. But in season 2, I think I want to push that and I want him to kind of be dipping his toe in the disabled waters. You have to do what’s right for the story first. You can’t say, “I want this and this,” and then work your way out of that. That’s just not how you break a story. So you just have to do what’s right for the story and you can’t get too hung up on pleasing everybody.

Do you already have a season two arc for Ryan?

Oh yeah. I know where I want her to go. Yes, yes, yes.

Have you broken it out more than two seasons? Do you have a third or fourth? 

Just one at a time. Just take it one season at a time.

I don’t know if you’d ever done any acting or improv or anything before this.  Was this literally the first piece of acting you’d ever done?

The first thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never done improv. I was in school plays in high school and middle school. No, I had never done anything before and I was really nervous about it, obviously. I mean it’s a huge deal to go from doing literally nothing to starring in your own Netflix series. Gosh, I’m so relatable. [Laughs.] Anyway. Jeez Louis, what is a boy to do? But I was really, really nervous. But I think that with acting, I’ve been on a real journey with it because I initially was not intended to star in it. Then I was starring in it, and I felt really uncomfortable about it. Then I shot it, and I actually fucking loved it. And the thing I actually realized, not until the show came out and I was doing press for the show, I realized that I’ve always wanted to act. I’ve always wanted to perform. I love performing and I feel like I just have never given myself permission for that. Because as a gay disabled person, I have achieved more than I could ever conceive of. I never thought I would make it this far and I thought wanting my own show, wanting to executive produce it, write the episodes, whatever, I felt like, “Oh, well that is so much and I’m already asking for so much.” I don’t think I ever gave myself permission to want that. And now looking back, and I’m like, “Wait, I’ve always wanted to do this. I just felt like it was not possible.” Because before “Special” came out, it’s not like I could go audition for roles. Like, “What the fuck? I don’t think I could be cast in anything.” So, I just don’t think I gave myself the permission to really really want that. And I was just so focused on writing and creating things. But now having done “Special” I really do love acting and I think it’s an important form of expression for me.

So beyond season two of “Special” assuming, knock on wood, it happens, have you added that to your portfolio? Are you trying to audition for stuff?

It’s funny you say that because I’ve started being sent things. Like, “There’s this audition in Santa Monica Thursday at 3:00 PM, can you go there and do this?” And then I read the script, and it’s like just trash, garbage. Oh my God. There’s a story I want to tell, but I feel like it’s going get me in trouble. Well, whatever. So I said “no” to everything, and then finally my agent was like, “Ryan, you have to go on one of these things. Just go, I think you’re scared of auditioning.” I was like, “You know what? Maybe you’re right. I need to do this.” So then I go, and I do this audition, and she goes, “That’s great, can you do it more autistic this time?” And I thought she said “artistic” and so I was like, “Oh, artistic? O.K.” And then I realized that she actually said autistic, and I was like, “Oh God-

Oh my God.

…that’s much worse.” So anyways, that’s the first and last audition I ever went on. But here’s the thing. I’m so into acting and other things, I’m serious, I would love it, but it would have to make sense. Doing a part in something like “High Maintenance” would be incredible. I would be a featured extra in a Mike White film. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

I would literally be a salesgirl and be like, “Hey I have that in your size,” and then disappear and never come back. I don’t care, it’s not about the size of the part, it’s really just like what it is. So no one’s knocking on my door, honey. You know? And the things I’m getting are like the gay piano teacher and that’s not my journey.

Yeah. I mean, first of all, you never know. Clearly, you didn’t think this was going happen two years ago.

Oh, I know.

I know you were working so hard to find someone to portray so you didn’t have to, and this might sound strange, but are there all of a sudden disabled actors coming out of the woodwork that you just didn’t know about at the time?

Yes, there’s so many, there’s so many. And especially a lot of women in wheelchairs which I’m addicted to. There’s Danielle Perez, who’s this amazing comedian, she’s amazing. There’s Nicole Evans, who’s incredible. They’re just so, there is a pool of talent. Since doing “Special” I’ve been kind of introduced to the disabled world in entertainment and they’re the most lovely, welcoming, sweetie group of people. I’m addicted to them and it inspires me to write them something the next season.

Is there anything else you’re trying to get made at the moment?

Yeah, I actually just pitched a docu-series that I think we might do, fingers crossed. And then I wrote a movie. When we were in post with “Special” I was like, “I need to excise this show from my body” so I just wrote this movie without an outline in two months. I was like, “Oh, chic.” So we’re actually submitting to directors and producers right now. She’s always got a lot of iron in the fire. But mostly I’m just eating chopped salad and going on swing sets.

So my last question is, unfortunately, you don’t get to go to the Primetime Emmy show, but you do get to go to the more fun Creative Arts Emmys.

You’re right, I don’t! I’ll be at the Arby’s in Glendale.

But, will you try to upstage Billy Porter with what you wear to your Emmy ceremony?

Oh my God, that is such a good point. I actually have not really even though about what I’m going to wear. Am I even gay? God, my gay card’s going to get revoked. I have not even thought about it. No, I think I just want to look like a preppy gay monster, maybe. I don’t know. I actually haven’t thought about it.

It’s about the tie then. It’s about the tie and the jacket.

Yeah, exactly. I don’t know, I want to wear something very chic, obviously. But I think there’s no upstaging Billy Porter. I think he’s gotten that nailed, and I want him to have that.

“Special” Season 1 is available worldwide on Netflix.