If you’re in the mood for an action flick without imagination, then “The Misfits” is the film for you. Recycling genre tropes, characters, and camerawork, “The Misfits” feels like you’re watching a montage of better movies.
Directed by “Die Hard 2” filmmaker Renny Harlin, the script by Kurt Wimmer feels as if it was written by a child. “The Misfits” has plenty of fights, explosions, freeze-frames, close-ups, cute girls, and colorful cars, but there’s no substance. The film lives and dies by its style, and Pierce Brosnan, as the protagonist, and Nick Cannon, as the narrator, look lost as they wander a baron desert of stylized cliches. Brosnan, in particular, has that “What am I doing here?” look on his face, as if the paycheck didn’t justify the embarrassment of being on the poster.
The plot concerns a band of charitable criminals a la Robin Hood, comprising a thief named Ringo (Canon), a cool guy named Wick (Mike Angelo), a black belt named Violet (Jamie Chung), and a con-man named Prince (Rami Jaber). The group’s next heist—a cache of gold bricks in Abu Dhabi—isn’t going to be easy, so they call up a world-renowned pickpocket to join the team (Brosnan). He’s reluctant at first, but his daughter, Hope (Hermione Corfield), convinces him it’s for a good cause.
It isn’t long before The Misfits are in Abu Dhabi, breaking into a maximum-security prison where a crooked FBI agent (Tim Roth) is guarding the gold. Why is an FBI agent in Abu Dhabi? And why is the gold stashed in prison? Who knows? It’s a concept that made a lot more sense in Val Kilmer’s “Felon.”
Everything about “The Misfits” is lackluster and lacking verve. The film is dull and dim like everything’s been drained of energy. The action has the vigor of a lullaby, the villain has the presence of a puppy, the plot has the comprehensibility of a child’s scribbles, and the plotting has the familiarity of a family photo album. The finale—a car chase in Dubai—has the sheen of a “Fast and Furious” movie, and you half expect Vin Diesel to drift into the frame and save the day. Good luck…
As much as the cast tries, there is no saving this tireless retread. Not even Vin Diesel would be able to save “The Misfits.” Every scene is a rip-off of some other, better-executed scene from a more successful film, whether it’s a car chase in “Fast Five” or a montage in “Oceans 11.” “The Misfits” feels like a cover band playing another band’s hits without the necessary skill—how can something that was once so exciting and humorous now be so boring and laughable?
“The Misfits” bills itself as an action/comedy because it’s very violent (there’s plenty of chair-smashing, head-bashing moments) and because of the one-liners that come out of Ringo’s mouth—most of them racist, sexist, stupid, and tired. There’s a run-on about Middle Eastern accents, as well as a joke about the Muslim Brotherhood. The writers seem to think this makes the character cool, tough, or the kind of guy who could hang in “Reservoir Dogs.” But the treatment of Ringo isn’t cool at all, just rude and unnecessary. This Ringo is better off quitting the band for good. [D-]
“The Misfits” is available now.