Here we are, then —after two years of hype, ludicrous sexist abuse and speculation, the new “Ghostbusters” movie (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call,” to go by its closing-credit title) hits theaters tomorrow after already having rolled out in some parts of the world. But for now, it looks like it’s going to be a pretty successful relaunch —reviews have mostly been good, though not universally so (ours is at the more negative end of the spectrum, though it still finds some funny stuff), and the box office returns seem like they should be strong.
The question of how it stacks up to its predecessors, the beloved 1984 “Ghostbusters” and its ill-advised 1989 sequel, will be long-debated. But we thought that we would get things started going into the weekend by looking at the characters of the franchise.
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After all, a genre-blending comedy series like this one lives and dies on how memorable its characters are —it’s why you’re not seeing the release of an “Evolution” reboot this week, for instance. So we’ve taken the forty most notable characters (and ghosts) across the three films, and ranked them from worst to best. Take a look below and politely make your disagreements known in the comments. Some SPOILERS ahead if you haven’t seen the new movie.
40. Peter MacNicol as Dr. Janosz Poha (“Ghostbusters II”)
As we were reminded by his amazing turn of absolute spittle-flecked fury on “Veep,” MacNicol can be, and usually is, a wonderful actor. But he’s fucking horrible in “Ghostbusters II.” As Dr. Janosz Poha, the Borat-accented art expert who falls under the spell of Vigo The Carpathian, he’s deeply irritating, and only pulls back from being a homophobic caricature because his character is creepily pursuing Sigourney Weaver. In a movie with a number of terrible things in it, Dr. Poha might be the worst.
39. Michael K. Williams & Matt Walsh as Agents Hawkins & Rorke (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
Imagine if Johnson and Johnson from “Die Hard” were in “Ghostbusters,” but had nothing to do and were played by two great actors who feel completely wasted in the parts? That’s what Homeland Security agents Hawkins & Rorke, as played by Williams and Walsh, basically are. Williams has a sly facility for comedy that he’s achieved brilliantly recently, and UCB- co-founder Walsh is one of the world’s best improv comedians, yet they’re just empty suits in the finished film. Presumably they had lots of material on the cutting room floor?
38. Kurt Fuller as Jack Hardemeyer (“Ghostbusters II”)
For some reason, the impression has been imparted by… someone that having a faceless bureaucrat is a crucial part of the “Ghostbusters” franchise. The least of them is undoubtedly Fuller (“Wayne’s World”), who plays the Mayor’s aide Jack Hardemeyer in “Ghostbusters II.” He’s there essentially to fill a Walter Peck-type role, but through no fault of Fuller’s, who’s doing what he can, this character is nowhere near as memorable —underwritten, underutilized and mostly pointless.
37. Harris Yulin as Judge Stephen Wexler (“Ghostbusters II”)
This is indeed a “Ghostbusters” character, though we struggle to remember him a little bit, and we only re-watched the movie this morning. The veteran character actor (known for “Scarface” and “24” in particular) plays a hard-ass judge known as The Hammer who tries our heroes, only to take their side when his courtroom is attacked by the ghosts of two murderers he sent to the chair. And he’s… fine? It’s a thankless role, but inexplicably high-billed.
36. Dan Aykroyd as Cabbie (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
The moments of fan service in the new “Ghostbusters” are among the most troublesome elements, and ironically it’s the franchise’s creator and biggest cheerleader who delivers the worst. Aykroyd pops up in the middle of the film’s big third-act set-piece to deliver the line “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts”: even moreso than the other cameos, it stops the movie dead in its tracks for a minute.
35. William & Hank Deutschendorf as Oscar Barrett (“Ghostbusters II”)
Oscar, the son of Sigourney Weaver’s Dana (and maybe Bill Murray‘s Peter Venkman), is a baby. The two actors that play him are also babies. They do baby things. It’s fine.
34. Charles Dance as Harold Filmore (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
For some reason, Dance, whose career is at new heights these days thanks to his brilliant portrayal of Tywin Lannister on “Game Of Thrones,” is fifth-billed in the new “Ghostbusters” movie for a character who has two scenes, neither of which ever ascend above the level of ‘Charles Dance being slightly sinister and telling a character off,’ which is the sort of thing he sleepwalk though. We kept expecting him to come back for some kind of comedic payoff and/or being a secret demon, but no dice. Still, we hope he got paid well.
33. Dragon Ghost (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
It’s possible that this creature, which first possesses some mannequins backstage at a rock concert and then reveals its true form as a big green dragon thing, eventually has a name, but we’re going to go with Dragon Ghost for now. Either way, it’s probably our least favorite of the spectres from the new movie. The creature brings out some good stuff from Leslie Jones’ Patty, but the film never really explains anything about it.
32. Annie Potts as Desk Clerk (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
As you’ll see from where her major role lands on this list (see below), we’re delighted that Potts gets a cameo along with the main surviving original Ghostbusters principals in the new film. But because we’ve seen her onscreen less in recent years than a Bill Murray or even an Ernie Hudson (though she memorably played Bo Peep in the “Toy Story” films), her cameo jars simply because it takes a second to clock who it is. Her material’s okay, but we’d love to have seen her get a little bit more to do next time (or even get a bigger part in a movie elsewhere).
31. Ernie Hudson as Uncle Bill (“Ghostbusters: Answer The Call”)
Hudson’s cameo is welcome once it arrives, but it suffers from being a bit telegraphed — almost as soon as Leslie Jones’ Patty mentions she’s borrowed a hearse from her uncle, we start to suspect who that uncle might be. Still, it’s satisfying to see him turn up when he does: Hudson has become a warm presence as he’s gotten older.