From A-Z: A Guide To The Lost & Unmade Films Of David Fincher

S is for “Seared”, “Stay,” “Strangers On A Train,” “Spider-Man” and ‘Star Wars: Episode VII”
Given the reputation of high-end chefs for perfectionism, you can see why Fincher would be drawn to that world, and he’s been involved with two separate projects over the years set in restaurants. The first, “Seared,” was an adaptation of Anthony Bourdain‘s best-selling memoir “Kitchen Confidential,” a “Shampoo“-ish like hard-R sex comedy that was going to star Brad Pitt and Benicio Del Toro. The film was meant to shoot in the early 2000s, but Fincher was burnt out after the arduous production of “Panic Room,” and Bourdain’s book was turned into a short-lived TV comedy starring Bradley Cooper. A few years later, Fincher was back on the grill, with an untitled comedy penned by “Eastern Promises” and “Locke” writer Steven Knight, which the director described in an interview as “good and chewy. It’s like a celibate sex comedy, if that means anything. It’s really about the creative process.” Keanu Reeves was to have taken the lead role, but Fincher got distracted with “The Social Network.” But the project kept moving and just went before cameras, starring none other than… Bradley Cooper. Why do you hate Fincher’s food movies, so much, Cooper? John Wells is directing, and Sienna Miller, Omar Sy, Daniel Bruhl, Alicia Vikander, Matthew Rhys, Uma Thurman, Lily James and Emma Thompson are also starring.

Another prospective post-“Panic Room” project was “Stay,” a then-hot spec script by “25th Hour” writer (and future “Game Of Thrones” showrunner) David Benioff. Revolving around a psychologist trying to stop a student from committing suicide, the film was eventually directed by Marc Forster with Ewan McGregor, Ryan Gosling and Naomi Watts, and proved to be a giant box office flop. Earlier, Fincher was also attached to a potential remake of Hitchcock’s Patricia Highsmith adaptation “Strangers On A Train,” though that came to naught as well.

And though he’s usually done his own thing, Fincher has flirted occasionally with the tentpole world occasionally. The director was offered the chance to helm the “Spider-Man” franchise back in 1999 (and again in the late 2000’s when the series was rebooted), but told io9 that “I wanted to start with Gwen Stacy and the Green Goblin, and I wanted to kill Gwen Stacy,” and was planning to open the film by dispensing with the origin story not just in one sequence, but one shot, with the movie being “much more of the guy who’s settled into being a freak.”

And only this week, Fincher confirmed that he had had a meeting about “Star Wars Episode VII,”  but seemingly didn’t think he’d get to do what he wanted, saying “my favorite is ‘The Empire Strikes Back.’ If I said, ‘I want to do something more like that,’ then I’m sure the people paying for it would be like, ‘no! You can’t do that! We want it like the other one with all the creatures!'”

T is for: “Torso”
One graphic novel adaptation that Fincher came closer to making was “Torso,” a screen version of Brian Michael Bendis and Marc Andreyko‘s comic, which focuses on a post-Capone Eliot Ness trying to track down a serial killer leaving limbless torsos around Cleveland. And it would have been different from “Seven” and “Zodiac,” with Fincher saying in 2007 “I’m not interested in  the serial killer thing. I’m interested in Eliot Ness and the de-mythologizing of him, because ‘The Untouchables‘ was only two, three years of his story. There’s a whole other, much more sinister downside to it. We want to make the ‘Citizen Kane‘ of cop movies.” The project has been in the works since 2004, but looked to be gearing up after ‘Benjamin Button’ in 2008, when Matt Damon, Rachel McAdams, Casey Affleck and Gary Oldman were attached, and production was closing in. However, the film reportedly became another victim of the director’s disagreements with Paramount, and the rights lapsed. It’ was revived last year, with “Ain’t Them Bodies Saints” writer/director David Lowery set to direct.

U is for: “Utopia”
Fincher’s next project is a small-screen remake of a British miniseries by playwright Dennis Kelly, about a conspiracy theory revealed by a mysterious graphic novel. The show, which will air on HBO, has been written by “Gone Girl” author Gillian Flynn, and as revealed yesterday, Fincher will direct every episode of the first season, falling in the footsteps of pal Steven Soderbergh with “The Knick.”

V is for: Veneral Disease
One of the best known “alternative” graphic novels around (it even made a cameo in this summer’s “Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes“), Charles Burns‘ 1970s-set “Black Hole” is the story of a group of Seattle teenagers who spread between themselves a sexually-transmitted disease that causes physical mutations. A script by fantasy author Neil Gaiman and “Pulp Fiction” co-writer Roger Avary attracted Fincher in 2008, though he replaced them with “Edge Of Tomorrow” scribe Dante Harper. Another Paramount project, most had assumed that the film was dead after the aforementioned falling out with the studio, but the trades revealed that the project was still alive, and that Fincher was still attached, now set up at now set up at Brad Pitt’s Plan B. Fingers crossed it happens sooner rather than later.

W is for World War Two
Fincher and the subject of war seems like a tantalizing prospect, and a decade ago, the director was attached to a project called “Fertig” (later renamed “They Fought Alone“), about the titular American soldier, who led an American-Filipino guerilla army against Japanese forces during the conflict. Penned by “Gladiator” scribe William Nicholson originally, Fincher brought “Chinatown” writer Robert Towne on, with Pitt interested in the project, but seemingly unwilling to commit. Fincher told Empire that “I still have to talk [Pitt] into ‘Fertig,’“ and suggested that the script was still in the works, saying “I think all of the criticisms leveled at the script, up until this point, have been valid ones, but I also think it’s just one of the great fucking stories. I talk with Robert Towne twice a week and he’s working… it could be one of the five greatest movies ever made. It’s that huge.” Nothing’s been heard of the film since, but let’s hope they crack it one day.

X is for: [e]Xecutive Producer
Unlike some directors, Fincher doesn’t seem to spend his spare time producing projects for other filmmakers. There are a few exceptions, some of which are surprising. He was executive producer on “The Hire” series of short films for BMW starring Clive Owen, helmed by the likes of John Woo, Tony Scott and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, and also took the title on one-time project “Lords Of Dogtown.” Most incongruous, though, is his credit on forgotten Brittany Murphy/Matthew Rhys rom-com “Love And Other Disasters.” The film was directed by Keshishian, who took over the job of the Madonna concert movie from Fincher way back when (see above), so one assumes that Fincher lent his name to the project to help an old pal get a feature made? In 2012, it was also announced that Fincher was going to produce a project called “IOU,” from “Mean Creek” director Jacob Aaron Estes, and he and Steven Soderbergh were at one point going to help Shane Carruth get “A Topiary” made as well.

Y is for Your Mission, If You Choose To Accept It
The closest Fincher ever came to making a true franchise picture was “Mission: Impossible 3” —at one point, the director was planning to follow “Panic Room” with the Tom Cruise blockbuster. Fincher described the plot (reportedly involving organ trafficking in Africa) as “a really cool idea, really violent,” but eventually dropped out, later telling MTV, “I think the problem with third movies is the people who are financing them are experts on how they should be made and what they should be… you’ll never hear me say ‘Whatever is easiest for you'” (Joe Carnahan was weeks from beginning production on a different script in 2004 when he too was fired, and J.J. Abrams eventually made the threequel). In the same interview, Fincher also revealed that he took a meeting on a Bond movie, seemingly “Goldeneye,” but had similar issues (a good thing too, as he made “Seven” instead).

Z is for The Zombie Priest
Well, we had to get to Z somehow. The Zombie Priest isn’t the name of a Fincher project, but he might yet be the villain in one: he’s the arch-nemesis of “The Goon,” a comic book hero that Fincher was once planning to bring to screens in animated form. A period tale about a Popeye-ish figure fighting evil, it was announced in 2008 that Fincher was teaming with Blur Animation Studios for a CGI-feature of the character, with Clancy Brown voicing the main character, and Paul Giamatti as sidekick Franky. The film’s been searching for funding almost ever since, and in 2012, took to Kickstarter to finance a story reel to help the project find backers. It raised over $400,000, but little’s been heard of it since.