Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s the most romantic day of the year (at least, if you’ve been listening to the endless advertising), and we hope you’ve made your plans, movie-related or otherwise (we’d argue that nothing says Valentine’s Day like the twists and sexual politics of “Side Effects,” but other options are available…). Now, February 14th is about many things: wining, dining, flowers, cards, chocolate, declarations of undying love. But all being well, it’s about something else too: knocking boots.
Yep, sex is as much part of Valentine’s Day as love and romance, even if Hallmark aren’t quite so keen to push that side of things. The history of the cinematic sex scene is a decidedly spotty one; just as it’s tricky to write a convincing literary coupling, it’s easy for movies to descend into cliche and unintentional comedy when it’s time for their characters to make the beast with two backs. So, in honor of all those getting laid tonight — and to give those of you who are single something to do — we present a brief history of the movie sex scene, with a somewhat random selection of ten of our favorites, and ten of what we consider to be the very worst. Let us know your own favorites (and not-so-favorites) in the comments section below. Oh, and everything that follows is pretty much NSFW, obviously.
The Best
“Don’t Look Now”
Unquestionably one of the single greatest ever committed to film, “Don’t Look Now” somehow managed to reinvent the sex scene in a way that only few have dared try (Steven Soderbergh being one of them, but more on that in a minute). What makes the “Don’t Look Now” sex scene so hot and so damn brilliant, is that director Nicolas Roeg cuts up the action, and this chronological unmooring actually adds to the sensuality and emotional weight of the moment. Yes, we get to see Donald Sutherland (and his argyle socks) and a lithe Julie Christie getting to know each other in the biblical sense, but interspersed with that we also see them getting ready to leave their apartment, so while they’re writhing around naked they’re also putting on their jewelry and adjusting their blazers. The sequence is disorienting and amazing, with sexiness to spare. It was so sexy, in fact, that several seconds had to be clipped from the domestic release to secure an R rating. Those cuts have been reinstated for the now out-of-print DVD release, which for some reason still carries the R. Rumors have persisted that the scene was not simulated, and watching it now, you can understand why many thought it was the real deal.
“Mulholland Drive”
You could argue, in a way, that David Lynch‘s “Mulholland Drive” is almost entirely a sex scene — a fevered, guilt-ridden masturbation fantasy as Naomi Watts‘ failed actress Diana mourns the woman that she’s in love with, who she’s hired a hitman to murder. But regardless of your interpretation of the film, there’s one rather more straightforward sex scene that marks among the most memorable of recent years. It takes place as Watts’ Betty and the amnesiac Rita, hiding out in the apartment of a dead woman, finally consummate their passion. It’s unashamedly titillating stuff (though chaste in comparison to some similar scenes), but, as with so much about the film, it’s Watts that elevates it. Her nervousness and uncertainty (“Have you ever done this before?”), and almost unwillingness to believe her own luck, makes it not just sexy, but downright romantic. And by the time they’ve gone through the rabbit hole at Club Silencio, there’s a retrospective pain to the scene, knowing that Betty/Diana is remembering, or fantasizing about, better times with the woman she’s just had murdered.
