“My dad had the idea, and everybody knows in [our] house that my dad’s a little crazy, okay? He’s very crazy! But you know, when he said this, we were like ‘are you sure?’ and then we were like, ‘all right, we’re going to listen to you because you’re the guy.'”
Read it closely, because that might be the future of Hollywood. When even cheap-seat no-brainers like supposed insta-blockbuster “The A-Team” don’t open big, then Hollywood might be running out of moves. No matter what gum-smacking town gossip Nikki Finke would like you to know, all studios generally root for something like “The A-Team” to succeed, as it’s a braindead, low-risk cheap seat pitch, and it convinces the studios that the system, where companies chuck hundreds of millions towards largely stupid, weightless endeavors, works. Every studio has an “A-Team” to release per year, sometimes four or five, and when they start failing, people sweat.
Which brings us to the above quote, spoken by Jaden Smith regarding his father conceiving the “Karate Kid” remake. Because there’s nothing crazier than the world’s biggest star laying about the house before coming up with the ingenious idea to redo a superficial cinematic touchstone of an artistically questionable period in Hollywood. People bemoaned the fact that there was no actual karate, only kung fu, in this redo, or that it was too long or that Jaden Smith looked like a xenomorph mushroom. And yet here we are: the recipe for success probably involves shitcanning writers and executives and just filming whatever crazy thought pops into the heads of our favorite stars, hiring their inexpressive offspring to take the onscreen beating necessary for cinematic glory. That “Three Men And A Baby” sequel? Came to Christian Bale in a dream.
Whatever the case, most people were expecting “Karate Kid” to be a strong second to “The A-Team” at best, considering the waning star power of Jackie Chan in America, the fact that director Harald Zwart has no watchable movies on his CV and the film boasts an excessive two hour plus runtime. We would need a demographic breakdown here – was the bulk of the audience kids? Nostalgia-hungry adults? Maybe young black kids specifically, as there have been no youth-oriented films geared towards a minority audience in a long time, and that demographic isn’t invisible. Maybe this clears the way for a Mexican “Narnia” film or something. It certainly didn’t hurt for them to cover their bases with a Justin Bieber soundtrack tie-in.
“The A-Team,” meanwhile, is tough to spin, because there’s the triple indignity at play here. First, finishing second to a much cheaper 80’s nostalgia reach. Secondly, just generally not connecting on the level the ad campaign demanded. And third, failing to start a potential franchise, as no one makes a movie like this without hoping for future adventures. With this opening, “The A-Team” will have to leg it out in order to score “G.I. Joe” numbers, probably the more modest expectations over at Fox. “The A-Team” has the benefit of being the most meat-and-potatoes action picture on the market, and with a less-than-solid summer season, it might have the juice to hang on, but right now, $90m is the revised target number unless the film drops less than 45% next weekend.
Three week champ “Shrek Forever After” landed in third, but is coasting nicely off IMAX profits, and seems to lose less traction per week. It should lap “How To Train Your Dragon” by mid-week, but it’s done once “Toy Story 3” hits the marketplace. The second weekend strength of “Get Him To The Greek” that many people forecasted never showed, but at least it continued to outpace “Killers,” which continued its plummet into basic cable hell.
There are no silver linings for “Prince of Persia” and “Sex And The City 2.” Not only did no one expect these release date buddies to be so well below $100 million at this point, but Disney was seriously banking on “Persia” severely distancing its cheaper competition, and it hasn’t happened. The WB can rest easily with “Sex” doing less than $100 since the film is a hit overseas and, even with a bigger budget than necessary, it wasn’t a financial back-breaker. “Persia,” meanwhile, will cost jobs. The trend of videogames-to-films will probably never end given the inherent cinematic qualities of certain games, but you can bet they’ll put a cap on the budgets, as video game audiences who will see their handheld 2D adventures on the screen remain a niche audience. “Persia”‘s eventual $90-$100 take would be superb on a “Resident Evil” budget, but not a Bruckheimer one.
“Iron Man 2” is poised to hit $300 million domestic by tomorrow, while “Robin Hood” should do the same with $100. The biggest limited release, meanwhile, was Michael Douglas in “Solitary Man,” which Anchor Bay platformed onto 53 screens this weekend. The dramedy took in $371k in its third week, though it’s tough to ignore the feeling that, five years ago, this would have at least been in 1000 theaters opening weekend. Different marketplace, we guess, but the idea of a horny, sad middle-aged Michael Douglas holds appeal to some, right?
The biggest per-screen averages belonged to a couple of indie film debuts. “Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work” pulled in $170k on seven screens for a $24k per-screen average, by far the highest of the weekend. “Winter’s Bone” with Jennifer Lawrence scored $85k on only four screens, while “Coco Chanel And Igor Stravinsky” nabbed $48.8k on only three screens, and the documentary “The Lottery” scored $17k on one screen. Lots of options out there, so there’s nothing wrong with supporting your local art house, folks.
1. The Karate Delinquent Hurting Children At The Playground – $56 million
2. The A-Team – $26 million
3. Shrek Forever After – $15.8 million ($210 mil.)
4. Get Him To The Greek – $10.1 million ($37 mil.)
5. Killers – $8.2 million ($31 mil.)
6. The Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – $6.6 million ($72 mil.)
7. Marmaduke – $6 million ($22 mil.)
8. Sex And The City 2 – $5.5 million ($89 mil.)
9. Iron Man 2 – $4.6 million ($299 mil.)
10. Splice – $2.9 million ($13 mil.)
