Weekend Box Office: 'Up' Is #1, While Bradley Cooper Has Just Happened

The box office story for “Up,” number one again, won’t be told in its second weekend, nor in its successful first, but rather in its fifth or sixth, when its weathered a number of box office contenders to have the staying power to earn as much as possible before July 4th brings “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs.” That being said, with $44.2 million and a $137 million total in its second week of release, “Up” is ahead of the pace of past Pixar performers- while much of that is due to the increased cost of the 3D, there’s no question that investors’ fear of Pixar’s declining stock was for naught.

As much as Hollywood has liked to pretend that, with “Terminator,” “Star Trek” and such, it belongs to the geeks, we know it really belongs to the jackass manchildren of the world. And so it goes- with the right marketing, a film that, regardless of quality, is aimed at the lowest common denominator, is going to hit hard in a dry period. Popped collars and gelled hair almost dominated the marketplace this weekend, as “The Hangover” courted $43.3 million worth of jackass cash to debut, in a photo finish, at #2. Most of the summer has strongly played male, but this was the first offering to play to Alpha Male, and so for WB, it certainly removes some of the sting of “Terminator Salvation”‘s weak showing. Maybe Todd Phillips returns to the A-List, maybe Bradley Cooper becomes the next hot leading man, maybe Zach Galifinakis gets squeezed into the Jack Black role- with a number of tentpoles still on the horizon, “The Hangover” will play long, a testament to its subject matter. Let’s face it, not everyone has an “X-Men Origin” or goes on a “Star Trek” but everyone has a “Hangover.” We look forward to “The Lost Netflix Envelope” or “The Laundromat” next.

Coming in at #3 was “Land Of The Lost” with $19.5 million, hopefully teaching the studios a lesson. If it weren’t for the stupidly extravagant cost ($100 million? How?), that would be a pretty good opener for a Will Ferrell comedy based on a property that everyone considers a joke. Universal thought they had a movie that played to everyone, but it played to no one, too vulgar for the kids, too silly for the adults. We just lived through a week with announcements regarding remakes/adaptations of “Commando,” “Short Circuit,” “Valley Girl,” “Stretch Armstrong,” “Barbarella” and “Where’s Waldo.” “Land of the Lost,” we’d wager, is of bigger cultural significance than all of those, and with an A-List star like Ferrell, it still couldn’t do solid business. The lessons Hollywood will glean from this are probably 1) Our marketing departments aren’t good, and 2) Brad Siberling sucks, and while on one count they’d most certainly be right (Christ on a cracker, Brad Siberling sucks), the lesson is probably that its really, really not worth it to adapt those properties, from both a creative AND financial perspective. Or, you could lower your overhead and do something like hire Michel Gondry* and give him final cut over a $15 million budget Danny Devito-starring “Stretch Armstrong,” and by DVD, you’ll be swimming in profit. The reason Hollywood doesn’t make nonstop $20-$30 million budgeted films and guarantee profit is because they like hitting $100 million home runs, with the possibility of spectacular flameout from a $100 million strikeout to remind them of their own mortality. Heady stuff.

“Night At The Museum: Battle At The Smithsonian” continues to generate cash from abusive parents who won’t take them to see “Up” instead, coming in at #4 with $14.7 million, while we suspect there were some extra ad dollars thrown around, as “Star Trek” has leapfrogged quite a bit of competition to land back in the top five. Posting the lowest falloff in the top ten, it ran it’s ’09-best tally to $223 million, surely hitting $235-$240 by the time the next real competition, “Transformers,” smashes all records. Outside of the top five, “Terminator Salvation” slowly starts to close up shop. With “The Hangover,” WB is likely going to divert some of the “T4” screens to the comedy, cementing “Salvation” as the summer’s biggest bomb so far. McG’s wish list for “Captain Nemo” just went from “Will Smith, Dwayne Johnson” to “Justin Bartha, Lucas Grabeel.”

“Drag Me To Hell” lost over half of its audience to land at #7 with a weak $7.3 million. All the nerd excitement in the world doesn’t mean shit to the box office, we’ve learned- “Wolverine” weathered a MASSIVE online leak to score big, while “Terminator” director McG desperately tried to toss out random PR bits to “thrill” the hardcore fans. While the internet’s most requested sequel might be “Evil Dead 4,” “Drag” courted a similar demographic by name-dropping “Evil Dead” in its spots, and its gonna close out at $40 million. That’s the reason Sam Raimi isn’t getting onboard another one of those films- no one wants to finance a horror film with a ceiling gross of $40 million. Granted, if Raimi makes it like the originals for a budget less than $5 million and it makes $30 million + DVD’s, that’s a massive profit windfall. But, again, it’s not a sexy home run. Hollywood is slowly learning their lesson- geeks have no pull. Fox throws money at “Dragonball: Evolution” thinking that otaku will carry the box office, and when they comprise $5 million in ticket sales, it’s like a major discovery.

Fox Searchlight performed a mercy killing on “My Life In Ruins,” dumping the Nia Vardalos comedy on slightly over 1000 screens for a feeble $3.2 million gross at #9. Meanwhile, the strongest limited release was “Away We Go,” which opened to $143k in four theaters, an average of slightly under $36k per screen, by far the strongest per-screen this week. If promotion keeps up, a steady expansion should certainly help matters. “The Brothers Bloom” had a 25 theater expansion, but it’s still puzzlingly under 200 theaters, as it’s $425k take brings its total to slightly under $2 million, while “Easy Virtue” posted the biggest indie film gain, a twenty theater expansion gaining a 32% audience increase to $219k for a $628k cume- roughly the Jessica Biel fans who showed up for that one midnight screening of “Blade Trinity” years ago. Cesar award winner “Seraphine” also debuted with $39k in six theaters, a modest opening, which is more than can be said for the Mariah Carey indie “Tennessee.” In fifteen theaters, the drama took in $10,000, an average of $667 per theater. We feel bad, since Carey has really tried to make a go out of being an actress in these small indie films, but we get the feeling she’s picking roles based on how cheap the budget is and how few days she has to be on set.

1. Up- $44.2 million ($137 mil)
2. The Hangover- $43.2 million
3. Will Ferrell Tells Chaka To Fuck Himself- $19.5 million
4. Night At The Museum: Salvation- $14.7 million ($127 mil)
5. William Shatner’s Jealousy- $8.4 million ($223 mil)
6. Terminator: Battle At The Smithsonian- $8.2 million ($105 mil)
7. Drag Me To Ikea- $7.3 million ($29 mil)
8. Angels And Demons- $6.5 million ($116 mil)
9. My Life In Ruins- $3.2 million
10. Dance Flick- $2 million ($23 mil)

*Hire Todd Solondz and you can lower the budget to $5 million, and make an even MORE interesting movie.