While this writer hasn’t had a chance to see “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (though a Playlist review is forthcoming). Word is baaaad. Currently the film sits at a low-low 34% on Rotten Tomatoes and we were hit with at least three emails this morning of crit friends telling us how awful it was. A female critic friend of ours who enjoys the books on a guilty pleasure level tells us it was “retarded” and said, “I don’t know why it’s so hard for them to get these movies right” (maybe Chris Weitz does have a reason to call it quits).
Also, hilariously, there’s a scene in the movie where Bella (Kristen Stewart) goes to see a movie, but is so despondent that Edward (RPattz as MTV loooves to call him) is gone, she can’t go see a romantic comedy, so instead goes to see a movie called, “Face Punch.”
Apparently this is not a joke, taken at face value. There’s even a fake movie poster in the movie with the tagline, “Face punch: let’s do this!” But then again, that’s maybe just a dig at Zack Snyder films? Who knows, but we laughed our asses off at that one and haven’t even seen the film.
Meanwhile, if you’re dumb enough to fall for emails that say “download the New Moon movie for free!” perhaps you’re getting everything you deserve. On the eve of the film’s opening (and just days after would-be-demo tweener Miley Cyrus dissed the franchise), a new “Twilight” computer virus has been making the rounds and ruining various mouthbreathers’ computers.
The biggest mistake this series ever made was not hiring Guillermo del Toro protege Juan Antonio Bayona who directed the very excellent, 2007 film, “The Orphanage,” but in retrospect, we’re glad Bayona didn’t soil his work with the goth-teen franchise (and apparently he didn’t even want the gig; we love him even more). But seriously, when is he making his next film?
Lastly, tween culture moves fast which is why they’ve been cranking out these “Twilight” movies — “Eclipse” hits summer 2010. But will teens, who are obviously fickle and suffer from micro-boredom still care a year from now? “New Moon” is expected to be a huge hit this weekend, but they still have yet to announce a director or start date for “Breaking Dawn” the final installment, and if they do break that fourth film into two parts — milk it; more bang for their buck — and that one hits in… 2012, will “Twilight” be passé?
Also, if someone gets an image of the fake poster to “Face Punch,” plllleeeeeaaaaase send that shit to us. We must see.
