There’s clever viral marketing and there’s overdone, annoying viral marketing and J.J. Abrams n’ company’s new ultra-secretive (oooooh) new project, code name “Cloverfield” falls squarely into the later category (no one on Earth actually knew what the actual film was for months and apparently audiences won’t know until 5 minutes into the film; not really, but might as well, it’s fucking ridiculous).
Their absurd viral campaign has included posters with no names and only dates, oblique teasers in front of equally lame movies like “Transformers,” and “Gayowulf,” creating fake blogs with games, cast members being kept in the dark, and a lot of other rabbit hole nonsense for losers with waaaay to much time on their hands (think the smart Nine Inch Nails campaign for Year Zero only ratcheted up to a shrill 11). The film – which looks like Godzilla (monster movie) meets lo-rent “Blair Witch” – has been obnoxiously hyping itself each week with some new puzzle piece ostensibly since July (or earlier) and it went from being a ‘what is this?’ curiosity to a full-on “go away already” eye-sore and irritant.
What’s it about? Apparently J.J. Abrams went to Japan and got all bonered up with nerd ideas. “We saw all these Godzilla toys, and I thought, we need our own monster, and not King Kong, King Kong’s adorable. I wanted something that was just insane and intense.”
What are its chances? First off, “Cloverfield” is due in January (dumping ground for studios; though that could be its advantage) and secondly it’s just been too much too soon and we’re expecting “Snakes On A Plane”-like hype-gone-wrong… no we’re hoping for it. We really hope we never have to hear from this film again and we’re so put-off, we’re praying to Allah that it bombs. We’ve tried to steer clear of this thing, especially since folks like Vulture have been following its every silly little move, but we couldn’t stay silent any longer. Join the “Cloverfield” boycott now. Just eight-s0me week until you can fully ignore it.
