Mitch Glazer and Michael O’Donoghue are not necessarily names that will be remembered by many film fans today. However, in the ‘80s, the duo was one of the more interesting writing pairs working in Hollywood, eventually penning the script for the 1988 comedy classic, “Scrooged.” But that Bill Murray film isn’t the most interesting project the two men worked on. Hell, “Scrooged” isn’t even the most interesting Bill Murray project they developed. That distinction goes to the unfinished comedy, “Arrive Alive.”
In the most recent issue of Backstory magazine, Mitch Glazer not only talks about the incredible drama that surrounded the film, “Arrive Alive,” but the writer actually shares his entire screenplay with the public, giving film fans the chance to read what could have been. “Arrive Alive” was set to tell the story of Mickey Crews, a detective that works out of a sleazy hotel in Florida who gets caught up in a web of intrigue that includes a decapitated whale trainer, a bad land deal, and the Miccosukee Indians.
Originally, the film was pitched as a way for Glazer and O’Donoghue (who was best known as the head writer for ‘SNL’ during that era) to write a new script for Bill Murray, with the actor playing the lead role.
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“I’d always loved that idea of me and Michael doing this movie about a sleazy hotel detective in Miami Beach, where I was born and raised,” said Glazer. “I’d worked as a cabana boy and knew sleazy detectives.”
Eventually, the two men finished their script and showed it to Murray.
“It was always Billy,” said Glazer. “There’s a skeezily charming bit in the screenplay where Crews attempts to pick up Joy Stallings, an exotic dancer known as the Devil-Made-Me-Do-It Girl, at the hotel’s James Bond-themed lounge via a bar trick involving a napkin and a lime.”
He continued, “It’s a clumsy seduction that only Murray could pull off, and we soon learn it’s not his first move. Joy is distraught over the loss of her dog, which doesn’t surprise Crews because he’s heard about a dognapping ring working out of Tampa. A few pages later, after putting his drinks on Joy’s tab, our hero returns to his hotel room, where he feeds her yapping dog with room-service leftovers. It turns out he’s the dognapper, and his intentions are anything but noble. If that’s your starting point with a character, you better have Billy Murray on speed dial.”
The legendary comedian, unfortunately, passed on the script, but that didn’t stop the two writers from continuing to develop the film. Finally, it appeared that everything was on track, as the film was set to be directed by Jeremiah Chechik (“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”) and starring none other than Willem Dafoe (as Mickey Crews) and Joan Cusack. But that’s not the end of the drama surrounding “Arrive Alive.”
As detailed in the new report, the film would eventually go in front of cameras and film for three weeks. But after watching dailies, Paramount Pictures pulled the plug on the production, as the studio was worried that the big-budget comedy was spiraling out of control. What we’re left with now is the legend of the unproduced film, and the script, which you can read at Backstory.
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