The first trailer for “Tomb Raider” drops tomorrow, and this is probably not the rollout Warner Bros. was hoping for. The freshly released poster (see below) has earned its fair share of criticism for the awkward, butt-forward pose and the even more awkward thing going on with Alicia Vikander‘s neck. Now comes the official synopsis which reveals that our globe-trotting adventurer is….a bike courier?
The official synopsis has been revealed for “Tomb Raider,” and you can practically see where studio executives were handing over notes to the filmmakers. Perhaps they’re trying to cash in on the untapped bike courier craze that “Premium Rush” failed to deliver on. Or more likely, it’s a bunch of Old Dudes trying to connect with The Youth. Here’s the synopsis:
Lara Croft is the fiercely independent daughter of an eccentric adventurer who vanished when she was scarcely a teen. Now a young woman of 21 without any real focus or purpose, Lara navigates the chaotic streets of trendy East London as a bike courier, barely making the rent, and takes college courses, rarely making it to class. Determined to forge her own path, she refuses to take the reins of her father’s global empire just as staunchly as she rejects the idea that he’s truly gone. Advised to face the facts and move forward after seven years without him, even Lara can’t understand what drives her to finally solve the puzzle of his mysterious death.
Going explicitly against his final wishes, she leaves everything she knows behind in search of her dad’s last-known destination: a fabled tomb on a mythical island that might be somewhere off the coast of Japan. But her mission will not be an easy one; just reaching the island will be extremely treacherous. Suddenly, the stakes couldn’t be higher for Lara, who—against the odds and armed with only her sharp mind, blind faith and inherently stubborn spirit — must learn to push herself beyond her limits as she journeys into the unknown. If she survives this perilous adventure, it could be the making of her, earning her the name tomb raider.
That whole thing is just….well, maybe it works better as a movie? At least she doesn’t do parkour…at least as far as we know. Guess we’ll find out when “Tomb Raider” opens on March 16, 2018.