‘Twilight: Eclipse’ Re-Released For Bella Swan’s Birthday. No, Really.

Absolutely raging that you only got to see “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” 14 times in the theater before those stupid managers or, like distributors or whatever, replaced it with some stupid other movie that totally didn’t have R-Patz in it even a little bit? I know I am! But finally one of the gross old dudes in charge of this sort of thing has gotten over his EPIC FAIL and read one of my texts (prbly tk hm 4eva! ROTFLMAO!). Deadline reports ‘Eclipse’ is being re-released this weekend, so me and all my BFFs can celebrate Bella Swan’s birthday (Sept. 13th) by hating on Kristen Stewart and thinking how much better we would have been in the role.

Yes, the film, which honestly feels like it only left theaters yesterday, is coming back to 1,187 screens nationwide for this auspicious weekend destined soon to be declared a national holiday. In fact, this period has a double significance as not only is it Bella’s real birthday, but her “vampire birthday” (is that a spoiler? Does anyone care?) is September 10th – OMG! That’s today! Soooo weird.

The film’s domestic gross to date is $298.8M – tantalisingly close to that nice round $300M figure that looks so much better on an accountant’s ledger (did someone not meet their 3rd quarter quota or something?), so there’s one reason to go again so soon, if you’re not 100 percent convinced by the tenuous birthday thing. And with ‘Eclipse’’s international figure of $372.8m bringing the franchise’s worldwide total to around $1.7bn and two more of these films to go, it looks like it’s suicide for me again.

In case you miss it because you want to celebrate the fictional birth of fictional Isabella Marie Swan in a different, more spiritually personal way (I would totes understand that), Edward Cullen’s b-day is June 20th so fingers crossed they’ll re-release the whole trilogy then! That would be so the opposite of lame.