Did you hear that sound? Wow, did we just dodge another Tarantino bad-taste bullet? Holy shit, yeah. And this one’s so real it buzzed by our ear with that real sense of “holy shit,” terror. Adam Sandler was actually almost in “Inglorious Bastards”! Damn, or at least it looks that way. Sandler was rumored to be one of the original actors Quentin Tarantino wanted to cast in this thing years ago, but then QT himself had squashed most of those rumors. Was that purposeful misinformation?
Because according to Sandler, who’s doing press in Ireland for “You Don’t Mess With Zohan,” he met with Tarantino for one of the roles (obviously one of the Jewish Bastard soldiers), but had to turn it down because he was shooting a Judd Apatow film at the same time.
About meeting with Quentin, Sandler told RTÉ, “Yeah it’s true. It is, and I read the script, it’s fantastic. But I’m shooting at the very same time. I won’t be able to do it. I’m doing a movie with Judd Apatow at the same time so that’s not going to happen, but I did read it. It is awesome.”
And apparently it was some kind of misinformation campaign as Sandler and Tarantino had been plotting this casting move for a while now. “I’ve known Quentin for a long time. We’ve been talking about doing it for years, for like five, six, seven years. Yeah, it’s definitely disappointing. I’d love to do it, but I just can’t.”
Yeesh, this is all too real! Apatow’s “Funny People” is shooting in the fall, the same time that “Inglorious Bastards” is scheduled to start principal production. God, Sandler as one of the soldiers next to Brad Pitt? God, why not just nuke the whole production while you’re at it? We’re pretty sure this is some kind of divine intervention cause God read the script too and he doesn’t want to see Quentin fuck it up too further than he inevitably will on his own.
You’ll recall that Tarantino had a role as a priest in Sandler’s “Little Nicky” in 2000 in the days when the director still thought he had a shot at a acting career. And yes, someone’s going to point out “Punch Drunk Love,” but no, don’t even. Stick to the vision goddamit!
Update: Dear lord, there was apparently a rumor going round that Corey Feldman was going to be cast in ‘Bastards’ as well but that report’s been evidently quashed, thank baby jesus. Speaking of bad ideas, here’s another rumor, Mike Myers will play a small role in ‘Bastards‘? Oh shit, does he want him to do his accent thingy and play Winston Churchill? (who yes, is in the script for a minute). Please god, no. Tarantino does have a soft spot for losers (Myers) and bad ideas so it could be true. Anything’s possible with him, really. *Shudder*
