Nicolas Cage May Star As Nicolas Cage In The Most Nicolas Cage Movie Ever Made About Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage is clearly living on a higher plane of existence than the rest of us. The Academy Award-winning actor has played a lot of over-the-top weirdos over the course of his career, and also both Superman and Spider-Man. But nothing has prepared us for a movie where Nicolas Cage stars as Nicolas Cage in a meta-movie about the life of Nicolas Cage.

The news comes from The Hollywood Reporter, who reports that Lionsgate wants to add one seriously bonkers movie to Cage’s endless parade of disposable thrillers and special oddities, by entering final negotiations to pick up “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent,” with a script by mad geniuses Tom Gormican and Kevin Etten, with the former attached to direct. Lionsgate apparently beat HBO Max and Paramount in a ruthless bidding war, and after reading the movie’s description, it’s no surprise that everyone wanted to get involved.

The movie, as you probably haven’t guessed, would follow Nicolas Cage, the actor. As a character, Cage is seemingly “desperate to get a role in an upcoming Tarantino movie, while he also deals with a strained relationship with his teenage daughter. He also occasionally talks to an egotistical 1990s version of himself who ho rides him for making too many crappy movies and for not being a star anymore.” Honestly, what more do you need, people?

Like the real Cage, movie-Cage is under a mountain of debt. But unlike the real Cage (we think), the movie’s version “finds himself forced to make an appearance at the birthday party of a Mexican billionaire who happens to be a fan of Cage’s work and secretly hopes to show him a script on which he’s been working.”

And in case you need even more information before being completely in on this madness, “While he bonds with the man, Cage is informed by the CIA that the billionaire is actually a drug cartel kingpin who has kidnapped the daughter of a Mexican presidential nominee and is recruited by the U.S. government to get intelligence. The situation spirals even more dramatically when the Mexican brings over Cage’s daughter and his ex-wife for a reconciliation, and when their lives are on the line, Cage takes on the role of a lifetime.”

The report also mentions that the film references real Cagen movies like “Leaving Las Vegas,” “Face-Off,” and “Gone in 60 Seconds.” Can we just cancel all other movies?