We thought it was going to be hard to beat last weekend for sheer movie-going ambivalence, but the September dead zone continues this week with a fairly wretched looking lineup. At least we made the effort to go see “Extract” last week. Once again, our advice is to catch up on the summer releases you missed or put your Netflix account to proper use. But if you must know — and we know you must — here’s what you can expect if you venture out:
In Wide Release: Certainly the most interesting film to hit theaters nationwide this week, Shane Acker’s “9” is based on his 2005 Oscar-nominated animated short of the same name. Produced by Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (“Nightwatch”), this PG-13 rated film actually opened a couple days ago on the oh-so-clever date of 9.9.09. Taking place in a post-apocalyptic world, Elijah Wood voices the titular character (a “Little Big Planet” style rag doll) coming to terms with an Earth devoid of all human life and ruled by evil machines intent on destroying what life remains. Sure, the subject matter looks familiar, but we don’t often get to see adult-geared animated features open to wide audiences in this country. In addition to Frodo, the voice cast is excellent with Jennifer Connelly, John C. Reilly, and Crispin Glover co-starring. We’re interested to check it out ourselves as critics are mixed with a 61% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
We thought perhaps the tide had turned for Kate Beckinsale last year when she starred in David Gordon Green’s “Snow Angels,” but her B-movie fate is further sealed this weekend with “Whiteout.” The film centers on a U.S. Marshall’s attempt to solve the first ever murder committed in Antarctica before the arctic winter kicks in and a six month reign of darkness falls. Director Dominic Sena, who started his career with the very solid dark serial-killer film “Kalifornia” but soon devolved down the path of the completely banal and generic (“Swordfish,” “Gone In 60 Seconds”) helms what looks to be another unnecessary garden-variety entry in his filmography. Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt and Columbus Short co-star and with a RT fresh score of 2% they’ll probably skip the premiere. We saw it too. It’s pointless trash you could smell a mile away. Don’t bother.
What better way to celebrate back-to-school season than with a bitchy sorority horror flick? “Sorority Row” is the story of five lovely ladies who cause the murder of one of their fellow sisters in a hazing prank gone wrong and the killer who knows their secret. The film is being sold as “‘Mean Girls’ meets “I Know What You Did Last Summer’” and if it can hit the highs of those films it might be decent fun. If, you know, you go for that sort of thing. Rumer Willis and a bunch of other girls who aren’t spawn of Hollywood royalty star in director Stewart Handler’s flick. Critics are mostly in the campy fun category with a 56% fresh rating at RT.
Box office titan Tyler Perry returns to the screen this week with the aptly titled “Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself.” Perry’s built-in audience should make the film a strong contender this weekend. “Benjamin Button’s” Taraji P. Henson stars as a hard-drinking nightclub singer who is put in charge of her nieces and nephews after they are caught breaking in to Perry’s tough talking Grandma Madea’s house. Laffs and redemption surely follow. Perry’s name over the title pretty much sells itself, for better or worse. Adam Rodriguez, Brian White, Mary J. Blige and Gladys Knight round out the all-star cast. Perry’s films don’t need the critics, and predictably, the movie hasn’t been screened, so it is currently a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
In Limited Release: Oddly opening on only five screens is “Beyond a Reasonable Doubt.” A title that bland deserves a film to match and it seems as though director Peter Hyams has delivered on that promise. Michael Douglas plays a gubernatorial candidate and famed lawyer caught up in an evidence-tampering scandal by a rookie journalist (Jessie Metcalfe) and his girlfriend (Amber Tambyln) who also happens to be the assistant D.A. A remake of Fritz Lang’s last American film, this one looks to be headed straight for the DVD rack of your local chain video store. With a decent amount of reviews in, it looks to be a stinker beyond a reasonable doubt at 0% fresh at RT.
Liam Neeson proves that he’s the hardest working man in the biz with another new film out this weekend, “The Other Man.” “Notes on a Scandal” director Richard Eyre brings a Bernhard Schlink (“The Reader”) short story to the big screen. Neeson plays a man who, after discovering his wife (Laura Linney) is having an affair with another man (Antonio Banderas, who else?) develops an unlikely friendship with the romantic rival. Great cast, but critics suggest you stay away from this man with a 21% fresh rating.
Master documentarian Joe Berlinger (“Paradise Lost,” “Brother’s Keeper”) returns with “Crude.” Winner of the Grand Jury Prize at the Independent Film Festival of Boston, it is the story of five Ecuadorian tribes who sued Chevron for pouring 18 million tons of toxic waste in the Amazon river, an atrocity which has come to be known as the “Amazon Chernobyl.” Berlinger’s films (“Blair Witch 2” aside) are always worth a look and this should prove to be no exception. Opinions look to be quite favorable with an 89% fresh rating on RT.
A couple of other decent looking options opening in limited release this weekend– the indie comedy “White on Rice” starring Hiroshi Watanabe (“Letters from Iwo Jima”) as a 40 year old man-child living with his sister and sharing a bunk with his 10 year old nephew. It promises to be a cute, mild diversion with the few reviews in so far. Also, the concert film/documentary “Gogol Bordello Non-Stop,” chronicling the live adventures and exploits of Gogol Bordello, high energy gypsy punks from New York by way of Eastern Europe. Not many reviews to go on, but some proclaim their live show to be the most entertaining in the world, so this one could be well worth a look.
Good luck out there. We’d stay home and rent if we were you (though yes, if you’re in NY/L.A., but all means check out things like, “Crude,” which we hear is fantastic.