In Theaters 'Surrogates,' 'Fame,' 'The Boys Are Back'

On tap in wide release this weekend is a whole lot of abysmal nothing. Aside from the first week of September that was dreadful, this is certainly the worst weekend of this dreadful month. We’re stuck with a left-over, we-don’t-kn0w-where-to-slot-this-junk mish mash of seemingly random releases that include 2 shots of sci-fi action with a dose of tween-targeted fabulousness on the side. Not a whole lot of excitement to be had this weekend if you live in a city that only offers megaplex nonsense pictures, but if you’re in New York or L.A. for the limited releases, you can find something to suit just about any taste, that’s for sure.

In Wide Release: Bruce Willis returns to familiar territory with Jonathan Mostow’s “Surrogates.” Taking place in the not-so-distant future where human beings live in isolation and interact with each other using surrogate robots, the film is based on a graphic novel by Robert Venditti and Brett Weldele. Willis plays a cop who must leave his home for the first time in years to investigate the murder of several surrogates. We doubt this will be replacing “Blade Runner” on your shelf anytime soon, but is Willis is game it could be decent fun. The cast also features Radha Mitchell, James Cromwell, and Ving Rhames. It looks about as fun as having a rectal exam, and critics have given it a low4o% rating at Rotten Tomatoes.

If you like your sci-fi a bit harder and darker, maybe your money will be better wasted on “Pandorum,” from director Christian Alvart. Dennis Quaid and the usually fantastic Ben Foster star as two astronauts who wake up on a seemingly abandoned spacecraft with no memory of themselves or their mission. The film has zero buzz, but is playing on a pretty decent 2400 screens. Alvart, for his part, has another film on the shelf awaiting a release date: the horror flick “Case 39” starring Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper. Eight critics have seen this and they give it a middling 50% rating on RT.

Also hitting theaters today is “High School Musical 4,” ahem sorry, its actually called “Fame.” A sure to be unnecessary remake of Alan Parker’s hit 1980 film of the same name. Following the lives of a group of talent youngsters over four years at New York City High School of Performing Arts, don’t expect a whole lot of plot, but hopefully there will be some winning musical numbers. Making his feature directorial debut is former Madonna choreographer Kevin Tancharoen, let’s hope he strikes a few poses and really makes the film vogue. If only supporting cast Kelsey Grammer, Bebe Neuwirth, and Charles S. Dutton were actually the ones singing and dancing. “Fame” has a 21% fresh rating at RT.

Just the thought of these three films makes us want to have a mental exemae.

In Limited release: 6 screens this week for Clive Owen’s Oscar bait “The Boys Are Back.” Hopefully the film marks a return to form for director Scott Hicks, who was last great with the Geoffrey Rush Oscar fave, “Shine.” Owen, who was met with strong reviews at TIFF, plays a recently widowed sportswriter and father struggling to raise his two boys. He must have really liked his prospects for this one, as Owen produced the film as well. We like Clive and he really needs a decent project, so fingers crossed on this one. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 67% fresh for now.

Gaining traction and good buzz on the geek circuit is “Paranormal Activity.” Writer-director Oren Peli’s film has been sitting on the shelf for a good while now and Paramount is trying to sell the film as a fresh “Blair Witch” style experience. It looks to us like an low-budget horror film, slight, forgettable, etc., but maybe there’s more to it. The plot concerns a couple, Katie Featherson and Micah Sloat, who move into a new home in San Diego, only to discover it may be haunted. The husband becomes obsessed with the ghost(s), trying to capture their spirit on video. While the reviews so far mostly come from geek sites, the film has an impressive 91% fresh rating. We’ll see if it lasts.

Stanley Tucci directs his first film in nearly a decade with “Blind Date” in theaters this weekend. An english-language remake of the late Theo Van Gogh’s 1996 Dutch film, Tucci and Patricia Clarkson play a married couple grieving as a result of the death their child. Staging a game of pretend on a series of blind dates, they hope to reconnect and reinvigorate their marriage. The movie as been around a few years, maybe the delayed release is to provide distance from Steve Buscemi’s other Van Gogh remake “Interview” with Sienna Miller. However it goes, Tucci and Clarkson are solid actors and deserve great material. “Blind Date is holding at a weak 33% fresh on RT.

If you were to ask us who would be the first filmmaker to take on the work of David Foster Wallace, our first answer probably would not be “The Office”’s Jon Krasinski. But, after securing the rights with some of that NBC dough, he has done just that. “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men” stars Julianne Nicholson as a grad student interview men about their complex relationships with women. Sure sounds great for the page, but is the movie really necessary? The film costars Bobby Cannavale, Michael Cerveris, and Josh Charles alongside Krasinski himself. After debuting at Sundance this year to lukewarm and negative reviews, RT holds fast at an unattractive 43% fresh, which is pretty much what we expected after watching those mediocre trailers.

Anne Fontaine’s Coco Chanel biopic, “Coco Before Chanel” debuts stateside this weekend. French ingenue Audrey Tautou stars as the titular designer and titan of 20th century fashion. Karl Lagerfeld was hired to recreate the style of Chanel’s life and work, so expect the film to look exceptional. Alongside Amelie, Benoît Poelvoorde Alessandro Nivola, Marie Gillain, and Emmanuelle Devos are also featured. The film is a decent 66% fresh on RT.

Other releases this week: a film adaptation of the bestseller “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell,” directed by Bob Gosse. About a bachelor-party gone awry, it aims to up the ante in a post-“Hangover” world. Starring Matt Czuchry, Geoff Stults, Jesse Bradford, and Keri Lynn Pratt, “Hell” is 33% fresh.

Also Michael Moore’s “Capitalism: A Love Story” hits a very limited number of screens (2?) before opening wide next weekend. We saw it and should have a review up soon, but we’d say if you’re not a huge Michael Moore supporter, you might hate it, and you might have just cause, but it is enjoyable and currently has a74% rating (and that’s 20 reviews too).

If none of this appeals to you, go see “Bright Star” which is probably in wider release and or Steven Soderbergh’s “The Informant,” if you didn’t catch it last week, but if you’re in megaplex-ville and one of those three appeals to you, heaven help you.