Sam Taylor-Johnson To Direct 'Fifty Shades Of Grey,' Armie Hammer Not Interested In "Mommy Porn" Role

nullWell, the long, hot, sweaty, kinky, naughty wait is over and a director has been found to tie up audiences cinematically and bring them to Pleasure Town in the big screen adaptation of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” Nope, it’s not more interesting choices like Gus Van Sant or Joe Wright, but instead it’s Aaron Taylor-Johnson‘s better half.

Yes, Sam Taylor-Johnson, the artist and helmer behind “Nowhere Boy,” has landed the gig that will bring your favorite mainstream book of erotica to the multiplex. According to The Wrap, Darren Aronofsky was offered and turned down the job about a month ago — keep that in your trivia hat. The Kelly Marcel-penned story will follow the charged sub/dom relationship between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, and we can’t wait to see what kind of officially sanctioned merchandise comes out of this. Especially considering there is already official lingerie, jewelry and a nearly absurd pleasure collection (Happy birthday!).

Of course, the question will now turn to casting (Felicity Jones is apparently rumored to be in the mix for Ana), but one person you can count out is the Lone Ranger himself, Armie Hammer. “No one actually offered me the movie, but while I was working on ‘Lone Ranger’ my agent brought it up, and I said ‘Nope,’” Hammer told Playboy about the rumors. “I mean, come on — it’s just mommy porn. I’m not going to sit on top of the laundry machine in spin cycle reading about putting a ball gag in someone’s mouth. That doesn’t do it for me.”

Sorry ladies, Armie is keeping his hammer in his pants for now. Get all hot and bothered with the official press release below.

UNIVERSAL CITY, CA, June 19, 2013—Universal Pictures and Focus Features today announced that Sam Taylor-Johnson will direct the highly anticipated film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey.”  Michael De Luca and Dana Brunetti are producing the film based on E L James’ #1 bestselling book, alongside James.  The announcement was made by Universal Pictures Co-Chairman, Donna Langley and Focus Features’ Chief Executive Officer, James Schamus.

“Sam’s unique ability to gracefully showcase complex relationships dealing with love, emotion and sexual chemistry make her the ideal director to bring Christian and Anastasia’s relationship to life,” said De Luca.   “E L James’ characters and vivid storytelling require a director who is willing to take risks and push the envelope where needed and Sam is a natural fit.”

Taylor-Johnson most recently directed 2009’s Nowhere Boy, the story of John Lennon’s childhood in Liverpool, where his fledgling genius found a kindred spirit in the teenage Paul McCartney.  The film garnered two BAFTA nominations, including “Outstanding British Film” and “Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer.”  Taylor-Johnson also directed the critically acclaimed short Love You More which was nominated for the Palme D’Or in 2008.  She is currently in development on a film for Columbia Pictures based on the novel by Robert Goorlick, “A Reliable Wife,” which is also being produced by De Luca.

“I am excited to be charged with the evolution of Fifty Shades of Grey from page to screen,” said Taylor-Johnson.  “For the legions of fans, I want to say that I will honor the power of Erika’s book and the characters of Christian and Anastasia.  They are under my skin too.”

Universal Pictures and Focus Features acquired the rights to the three books in the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy in March 2012.  Focus Features will market and distribute the first film in partnership with Universal.  “Fifty Shades of Grey” has become a global phenomenon and the trilogy has been translated in 50 languages worldwide since its release.  To date, the “Fifty Shades” trilogy has sold over 70 million copies worldwide in e-book and print, making it one of the fastest selling book series ever.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” follows the relationship of 27-year-old billionaire Christian Grey and college student Anastasia Steele.  Subsequent novels in the series, “Fifty Shades Darker” (September 2011) and “Fifty Shades Freed” (January 2012) explore the couple’s deepening relationship.  For more information please see the official Fifty Shades of Grey Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/fiftyshadesofgreymovie.

Taylor-Johnson is represented by WME, Brillstein Entertainment Partners and attorneys Sloane, Offer, Weber, Dern.