Watch: 'Conan The Barbarian' Red Band Trailer Has Lots Of Blood, Not Much Brains

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Well, at least “Conan The Barbarian” isn’t aspiring to be anything its not but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t look like a giant pile of shit.

A new red band trailer has dropped for the upcoming Jason Momoa action film and it seems the only tools director Marcus Nispel was given was some swords, vats and vats of fake blood and a camera. With so many phallic blades plunging everywhere, this plays like some kind of medieval porno but we mostly were just left wondering if there is anything Ron Perlman won’t cash a paycheck for. We’ll be honest, we’re not even sure what the plot is with this one (though we don’t there is much of a story) but if we have any curiosity, it’s to see how that sea monster thingy comes into the equation.

Anyway, “Conan The Barbarian” goes swinging into theaters on August 19th. Check out the bloody trailer below (and turn down your speakers if you don’t want to hear some absolutely terrible alt-rock).