Monday, November 18, 2024

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Breaking! G.I Joe Director Insists Sienna Miller’s Baroness Boobs Are Real

Thank god we got to this before we went home for the weekend. You’ll remember a few months ago that “G.I. Joe” actress, Sienna Miller, told reporters she had been forced to wear breast enhancing cutlets to fill out the bosom of her Baroness character in the upcoming adaptation of the children’s action figure toy. Miller described them as “chicken fillets,” and was quoted as saying, “The director said, ‘I’m gonna be honest, I like girls with big boobs,’ and I don’t have them so we made them bigger.”

But not so fast, “G.I. Joe” director Stephen Sommers (the auteur behind masterpiece theater classics like, “Van Helsing” and “The Mummy Returns”), denies this ever happened or was ever said.

“Everybody here laughed because they know I would never say that to an actress,” the filmmaker who squeezed Kate Beckinsale into extra tight “Van Helsing” corsets insisted. “I guess the costume department gave her a tight fitting bra, but no one gave her rubber breasts or whatever. It is 100 percent Sienna Miller.”

The cinema aesthetes at JoBlo could not be reached for comment in time, but presumably they’re incredibly bummed. Last time the fake boobs story was reported, they were positively thrilled and defended the director’s choice of alleged breast augmentation for the sake of sexy.

“You can say what you like about Stephen Sommers but homeboy can make a girl look good, no? Kate Beckinsale in VEN HELSING, Rachel Weisz in THE MUMMY RETURNS and now he’s putting Sienna Miller in skin-tight leather with an enhanced chest. His films might be horrible, but I think we can all agree this guy is a freaking hero to the working class of this planet.” Classy.

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