As many have already noted, this weekend is crazy crowded at the Box-Office, but a lot of it looks like fucking abysmal dreck.
Ok, there’s no major films per se, but the they’re all mid level studio or high level indies (they’re called “specialty pictures”) that probably won’t generate huge box-office numbers but are all basically in competition with one-another.
More than likely, some dumb-down studio film like “Eagle Eye” will stay at the top of the box-office by default. But no, actually what’s predicted to win? Oh god, the inanity of it is perfectly priceless for this country, “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,”starring voice actors Jaime Lee Curtis and George Lopez as tiny Mexican dogs in L.A. is expected to top the box-office. Lord have mercy on all our souls.
Here’s what else doesn’t have a chance at competing with this film.
“Appaloosa” – Ed Harris’ Western with Viggo Mortensen has a solid, 75% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, but buzz for the film seems to have dissipated after TIFF. We haven’t seen it, but maybe next weekend if we’re free.
“Ballast” – Lance Hammer’s poetically fragmented look at Mississippi looks tremendous and has a positive 80% rating. We missed our screening. This weekend hopefully. Super anticipating at the moment. For anyone that thinks Hammer is heavily influenced by the Dardenne brothers (“L’Enfant,” “La Promesse”) in this film, the director is the first to admit it. “My debt to them doesn’t stop at the aesthetic, either. Their movies gave me the courage to attempt things that I never would have done otherwise,” Hammer told Time Out this week.
“Religulous” – Larry Charles/ Bill Maher’s anti-religion docu screed was heavy-handed, insultingly manipulative, and super dismissive of other viewpoints but some still got off on its partisan laughs. It’s got a 65% RT rating.
“Rachel Getting Married” – Everyone loves this we swear. It has an 80% rating, but we found Hathaway mostly overrated, super shrill and her pathologically self-involved character was completely unlikable. Demme did capture the chaos and mania of wedding preparation well, but the cinéma vérité look felt out of his element. What’s worse is a plot construct revealed in the middle of the film which kind of reveals why Hathaway is so damaged seemed like, well a cheap plot construct doled out whenever we needed to turn on the waterworks from her character. We weren’t convinced of this one at all. Also, was it the just the ugliest mish-mash of cultures wedding? It was like a Kwanza eyesore.
“Blindness” – Pagels said this film had no bark or bite and fell short of most recent post-apocalyptic films. It has a dismal 38% rating which is probably the worst critical drubbing director Fernando Meirelles has ever received.
“Flash Of Genius” – Reviews are mixed. It has a 59% rating, and the idea of watching a guy (the hyper annoying Greg Kinnear) who invented the windshield wiper is about as appealing as an enema.
“Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist” – a wannabe John Hughes teen flick that starts out with lots of charm which evaporates around the second half. It then turns on its Indie-rock lite mangina to fulfill all the cliches of teen comedies and we checked out.
“How To Lose Friends And Alienate People” – The memoir whence it came, Toby Young’s sharp and bitingly satirical look at the celebrity magazine industry (Vanity Fair) is excellent, but apparently this one is downright retarded. Reviews are at 42% rating and we may just have to wait for video, because it looks like tripe. Time Out says the film “sends up celebrity journalism with the same glee that The Devil Wears Prada used to go after fashion mags (ugh). But How to Lose is light on satire and heavy on exactly the kind of Hollywood gloss that Young mocked as a journalist, even as he lived off it.” Ouch, yeah. We couldn’t stomach this, we’re sure. Simon Pegg can be a real wanker sometimes and he looks like he’s doing a buffoonish slapstick routine throughout.
“Beverly Hills Chihuahua” – Dogs of L.A., how can this one miss? Governor Palin and her Main Street mentally handicapped family will be at this one for sure. Toast her for us while you’re there, oh yeah, eh?
