“Commando” will be back.
The film that was integral in making Arnold “The Governator” Schwarzenegger into a household name is being given the reboot treatment. David Ayer, the man behind “Training Day” and “Street Kings” is set to write and direct the updated version of action classic. Ayer will most likely use his own experiences as a member of the Navy for the project, but is said to be making his version of the lead commando “less brawny,” with an emphasis on covert tactics and cool weapons. Please.
The original was one of the great mindless action flicks of the ’80s precisely because it was so completely and ludicrously macho. In the original, Schwarzenegger plays the awesomely named John Matrix, a retired elite commando who is forced to assassinate a rival of some dictator after his daughter (Alyssa Milano) is kidnapped and held for ransom. But Matrix doesn’t roll that way and he decides to go after the dudes behind the nefarious plot himself, dipping into his own huge stash of guns and gear (he’s an NRA member’s wet dream) leading to lots of explosions and some of Schwarzenegger’s best one liners of all time including:
“You’re a funny man, Sully, I like you. That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”
“Let off some steam, Bennett.”
“I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I’m very hungry!”
“Don’t disturb my friend, he’s dead tired.”
The idea of trying to remake the film into something resembling reality is kind of lame, but if we had to cast it how about John Cena simply for the fact that he’s been trying to mirror Schwarznegger’s career for years? A more awesome casting choice would be Tom Hardy (“Bronson”) if they want to take John Matrix in a slightly more deranged direction. How about getting Alyssa Milano to do the (thankless) Rae Dawn Chong role? That would be nice nod to the original. But since they’re going “less brawny” anyone can get the lead role really, and in an era when John Krasinski was being eyed to play Captain America, we guess anything is possible. But please, at the very least David Ayer, don’t try and update the the film into some comment about contemporary politics. And really, trying to improve or match the brainless perfection of the original seems ultimately kind of pointless.
If you haven’t seen the movie, the trailer below actually does a good job of highlighting some of the best moments from the film and capturing the overall retarded vibe of Schwarzenegger’s classic. (P.S. We kind of forgot how awesome James Horner’s steel drum led (!) score was for this). — Danielle Johnsen
