Maybe, you’ve heard. This is a little old, but we hadn’t quite weighed in (and god knows you were dying for us to do so). “Star Wars” losers everywhere have had recent cause to celebrate (in their parent’s unfinished basements, naturally) their long-awaited victory over the evil empire, the Weinstein Co.
Like us, many of you have been too busy over the past few years living your life to care about a dorky, meta in-joke for “Star Wars” nerds, called “Fanboys.” Set in 1998, the story follows a fanatical group of teenage “Star Wars” disciples, one of whom has the cancer, on a roadtrip across the country to George Lucas’ Skywalker ranch to steal a copy of the then-unreleased “Phantom Menace” so their dying friend can view it before he expires (now that we’ve all seen “Phantom Menace” doesn’t this make the film a total epic tragedy?). News of the concept travelled to girl-friendless fans who logged on to message boards to enthuse wildly about the idea.
But the film hit a snag mid-way. Original director Kyle Newman was removed from the production, and all hope seemed lost (Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found). Newman was shitcanned because the controlling Weinstein’s wanted the movie to be cancer-free and replete with vulgar dick jokes instead (sounds original), for which they brought in scab director Steven Brill (the super genius behind “Little Nicky”) to finish the production. They also tried to appease fans who were losing their shit by claiming two different cuts of the movie would appear on the DVD. Just another notch on the control freak belt of the Weinstein’s (they make Howard Hughes look carefree), right?
But wait! Just like the ragtag scampy Rebellion, the “Star Wars” fans wouldn’t be so easily defeated. Upon hearing the news, they logged out of their pay-per-chat cybersex rooms with haste and banded together to form a rebel alliance launch an internet campaign (complete with mocking video) that succeeded in bringing balance to the force restoring Newman to the project and the return of the cancer plot line (seriously guys, have you no lives). Perhaps the Weinstein’s noticed that no one was giving a flying fuck about this niche project aside from its niche audience (and “Family Guy” writers), and worried if they totally alienated this base, they’d be fucked? Very likely.
“Fanboys” has led a troubled life. The initial project wrapped two years ago, was delayed several times and yet still no set release date. The post-production has been plagued by scheduling conflicts and studio interference, and word has it that the Weinstein’s are so uneasy about the market for the film that after all this brouhaha, the film still might receive a straight to DVD release. All that for nuthin’, huh?
The movie stars Chris Marquette (the aspiring porn director in 2004’s “The Girl Next Door”), Jay Baruchel (“Knocked Up,” “Undeclared”) and Kristen Bell, obviously coming off a strong performance as the lead in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” The movie also boast Seth Rogen and Kevin Smith (naturally, rotund overlord of all things SW) and the trailer looks well, rather straight-to-DVD-ish. But congratulations nerds, now you can masturbate in peace and wait for the release, if it indeed doesn’t surface for the first time on a shelf as a $4.99 rental.
– Spencer Martin
