At least Jason Lee had the good sense to take the pay check and shut the fuck up. Not comedian David Cross however.
The alt-comic has drawn attention to the fact that he was actually even in “Alvin And The Chipmunks” (did anyone even fucking know before this?) and is bitching up a storm attacking fellow comic Patton Oswalt who made snide remarks on his myspace blog about Cross’ participation in the film. Patton’s post:
“ALVIN AND THE CHIMPMUNKS is a blatant, soulless, money-grab — the only reason it even got MADE was because there was an family-movie-shaped-hole in the release schedule. Oddly enough, both Brian Posehn and I were offered the part of Ian, the agent. We both threw the script across the room in disgust. David Cross caught it.”
The worst part of it all is Cross doth protest too much and vomitted up an extremely lengthy and tedious defense that we couldn’t even bother reading all of (the worst part of it all is he admits to having a Google Alert for himself!). It goes on and on and on with tons of excuses, but the first part is this:
“Hello, David here. I’ve internally debated the merits of addressing my appearance in, (and thus tacit condoning of) “Alvin and The Chipmunks”. I am not stupid nor unobservant. I knew going into this movie that I would be eating a lot of delicious shit for it. Usually I wouldn’t give a shit about what everyone’s feelings are about it, but I wasn’t prepared for the level, or amount I should say, of vitriol that’s been flung about like so much monkey poo. But then I read Patton’s snide comment in his blog about how he and Brian were offered the part and how they then chucked the script in disgust only to have it hungrily intercepted from it’s intended trajectory into the incinerator by me, a money hungry whore sell out, (I’m paraphrasing). That got under my skin and I stewed a little and because I stupidly (and vainly) have a “Google Alert” for myself, got to read various blogs, and posts questioning my integrity and talent, specifically because I chose to do the movie. The posts would range in varying degrees of anger from mild disappointment to seething outrage!! So now I will speak my piece and move on (I will move on, I can’t speak for the rest of you. You might harbor ill will towards me for a lifetime, or at least until you have kids who actually enjoy the movie)
[ed note. he does not move on and writes about another 3000 words]…
We recommend a chill pill and a reminder that Cross’ first album was titled Shut Up, You Fucking Baby. Oh Mr. Tobias Funke, where’s your sense of humor? Patton has since hit back on his myspace blog again, which we won’t excerpt here and you can read yourself, but the battle of the whiny alt-comics has officially begun.
Oh, he might be wing-dings/gremlin-characters challenged, but Patton has tried to apologize (good luck reading this post). He calls it all an non-issue. And dude, “insufferable.”
