The trailer for ‘Beowulf’ hit the interwebs earlier today (so in blog terms, ‘like a million billion years ago’). Special effects dorks everywhere responded with 7th grade gym class sweatpants boners. Zemeckis has somehow managed to get rid of the creepy-mannequin look from ‘Polar Express’ and create impressively realistic CG people. Close inspection of this trailer reveals that Beowulf comes with the promise of swords, one of those Braveheart-type scenes where it rains millions of arrows and semi-naked CG Angelina Jolie. So basically when the movie comes out, the theater will look like this: Row after row of dudes in drawstring pants (every-other seat, of course!) using Twizzlers as a straw. For fantasy fans (and by that we mean virgins), Beowulf just might make up for having to watch Forrest Gump talk to a volleyball for 2 1/2 hours in that crappy-ass Zemeckis-directed Fed-Ex commercial. Not for us though, we still want a public apology and our 10 dollars back.
The trailer also appropriates some of John Murphy’s Godspeed-like score from “28 Days Later.”
Rodrigo Perez is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Playlist, which he launched in 2007. He has worked in entertainment journalism since 2000, including at MTV, and has written for SPIN, IndieWire, Pitchfork, Complex, Magnet, and various music, film, and entertainment publications over the past two decades.
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