Once a year, the upper crust of socialite coffee table reader Vanity Fair take time away from croquet, adultery and Martha’s Vineyard to deign a look at what’s happening in Hollywood – young, lithe, nubile Hollywood that is. They pick out a bunch of Noxema-like fresh-faced, up-and-coming au courant stars-in-the-making and the rest of us nod our heads in approval and take notes. Well, no more! The Playlist, parses VF’s list – or at least the kids that truly matter – and give you a more realistic breakdown of who they are and where they’re going, if anywhere.
AMANDA SEYFRIED
Perhaps the most bewitching of the bunch with her saucery eyes and porcelain face, Seyfried first revealed her talents as the “Mean Girls” high school cliquer who could predict the weather with her breasts. This auspicious beginning could soon be slightly derailed by the aggressively distracting bronzer tan she sports in “Mamma Mia.”
JAY BARUCHEL
The eldest of this bunch at the ripe old age of 26, his appearance here will certainly be the first and last time the Canadian actor will be in a “young Hollywood list.” Having (mostly) cornered the market on awkward 20-somethings, Bucharel is also included here as a requisite member of the illustrious Judd Apatow Family Players clique which will eventually earn him the luxury of starring in bigger-budgeted, shittier films.
CHRISTOPHER MINTZ-PLASSE aka McLovin’
Loveable 19-year-old Mintz-Plasse will always be fondly remembered for his role as the helpless dweeb McLovin’ in “Superbad” [pause]. Rest your acting career in peace, young squire!
RACHAEL TAYLOR
Supple, blonde former model, the Australian actor first turned heads in the implausible role of the hot and brainy computer hacker in “Transformers” (no such creature ever exists outside the mind of boy scriptwriters). Appearing in the upcoming “Bottle Shock,” Taylor is now more well known for the unheard of: turning down the offer to star in “Transformers 2” simply because she has “been there, done that.” Maybe smart beauties do exist.
JONAH HILL
Lovable tumescent mensch of the Apatow clique known for his proclivity to recycle improvise ‘P in the Vajay,’ jokes in separate Apatow films, Hill can not only pass for a teenager at 24 (see “Superbad”), he can write and has setup a spate of projects including a wannabee Michel Gondry-esque comedy within the Apatow dick and emotion millieu.
AMBER HEARD
Bland, flaxen-haired requisite cheerleader type, Heard is thus far known for starring in the the well-received 2006, indie-horror that may never come out, “All The Boys Love Mandy Lane,” and for stealing Olivia Thirlby’s role as Seth Rogen’s girlfriend in “Pineapple Express,” because she was more blond.
JOSH PECK
A former chubby Disney child, Peck has made inroads at Ballys Fitness and a few plum roles including a brilliant turn as the obnoxious, chubby kid in “Mean Creak.” Worrisome of late is Peck’s penchant for acting, talking and comporting himself in the same manner as his hip-hop loving, slang touting character in “The Wackness,” where everything is awkwardly “fly.”
MICHAEL ANGARANO
Only at age 20, Annarango has been at the young, kid in Hollywood thing seemingly forever (he’s been in film since 1996, last seen as dying, inept skater in “Lords Of Dogtown”), so it feels like now or never for his youthful break; otherwise he’ll be relegated to a respectable, but not bright-lights-like character acting career ala Steve Buscemi or Thomas Haden Church later in life. The good news is at least, he’ll always have a pay check in hand, but considering his tender age, he still has years to develop a drug problem and become a star.
KAT DENNINGS
Perhaps the most beguiling of the bunch, this buxom, raven-haired exotica with the sumptuous lips’ first breakout role was the scene-stealing goth-teen in Judd Apatow’s “40 Year Old Virgin.” She’ll prove her staying-power mettle alongside the young prince of awkwardness, Michael Cera, come fall in “Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist.”
ED WESTWICK
Pug-faced British dandy, Westwick is on “Gossip Girls,” and therefore would not have a deep career if it weren’t for the fact that the movie business will always need an ugly, effeminate British ponce to act the part of the older asshole brother (see “Son of Rambow“)
BLAKE LIVELY & LEIGHTON MEESTER
They play affluent vapid teens on TV who live privileged lives as young, socialites in Manhattan. This is different from their real lives how? Eventually both of them will star in “Us Weekly: The Movie.”
EMMA STONE
Impossibly endearing, ginger-haired beauty, Stone first made her mark in Judd Apatow’s “Superbad” (sensing a theme?) despite a few years rambling around Hollywood in listless TV and teen film retreads. As it has yet to be screened, it remains unclear whether her turn in “The House Bunny” with Anna Faris will doom her to life in inane, cheesy teen comedies.
OLIVIA THIRLBY
Sassy, sarcastic, firecracker, Thirlby has the smarts, chops and quirky beauty to remain in this business long after the rest of these flavor-of-the-weeks have disappeared. If she plays her cards right, she will have a long and flourishing acting career the likes of Lily Taylor or Jennifer Jason Leigh which means Mr. Skin will have good fortune to see screen-cap her nakedness as an adult which will easily wash away the memory of simply being forever known as “Juno”s best friend (oh.my.blog).
KRISTEN STEWART
Perhaps the only name of the bunch you may still remember in 10 years, and likely the only one you’ll ever hear Academy Award nominee and their name in the same breath, Stewart will presumably have a career long after her young-Hollywood looks and it-girl freshness has faded. She is perhaps best remembered for being the comely jailbait that tried to entice Emile Hirsch into a free sexual meal, which the character somehow remarkably rejected, in “Into The Wild.”
EMMA ROBERTS
Lucky enough to be born into blue-blood Hollywood royalty (Julia Roberts is her aunt), Emma has been achieving success based on… well, this nepotism. She’ll appear in “Wild Child” later this summer which will prove to anyone if she can act a lick.