Hey, there’s 8 seconds of footage on the Internet! There’s a poster! No need to worry! About two months before release — uncharacteristically short enough that it had dorks worried — Warner Bros. has decide to remind the world that the D.C. Comics adapation of “Jonah Hex” actually exists. How about that?
Directed by Francis Lawrence…. errr, Jimmy Hayward (sorry, the “I Am Legend” filmmaker only did “touchups”*), the story of ‘Hex’ centers on, as the poster puts it, “revenge gets ugly” (because the protagonist has a disfiguring scar on his face, get it?).
Now the talent on this one is pretty solid. Josh Brolin, John Malkovich (holding what naturally appears to be a red glowing fireball cupcake), Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Michael Shannon and also, Megan Fox, but everything we’ve seen and read so far (part of the script that we bailed on) sounds and looks like a goofy, tonally-challenged bomb, akin to Marvel’s “Ghost Rider” in mood and spirit (we at least hope these guys got paid well).
Hey, we could be wrong and we’d be happy to be. “Sherlock Holmes” for example, was a tentpole we had totally written off that turned out to be rather entertaining and even thrilling in spots, but we just don’t have a lot of faith in this one and hell, even Josh Brolin wavered for a long time before he took on the role (granted that was when the “Crank” dudes were directing, but it’s still based off their script — maybe part of his concern that his character sometimes shot at his targets with one hand accurately, but then with the other hand took a howitzer sized gun and shot it at the ground for no particular reason).
We’re vaguely familiar with the comic book, but this looks like another “Wild Wild West” type bomb and even AICN-published early reviews are saying the same thing. Ouch. The premise sounds pretty awful too. “The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.”
Mindnumblingly dumb. We don’t want this to fail, we want studios and actors to put a little bit more work into their films. Hell, Christopher Nolan could probably make this into a watchable film, but until then, we’ll have to sit through the “Horton Hears A Who?” first-time feature director being supported by the genius that made, “Constantine.” We’ll soon find out if this just a bunch of Playlist yammering or not on June 18, but hey, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
*Had to take over for reshoots because the action wasn’t bold or big enough for the studio.